Love Ridden
by skittlesxrayn
Summary: AU Jay and Emma have had a bumpy ride in their relationship. Emma's not the same anymore. Chapter 15 and 24 are graphic chapters. FINISHED
1. Broken

OK, this is like my 6th fanfic I've put up here. It will be a Jemma... Well, I think it will be anyways. I do have a oneshot that I haven't typed into my computer yet. I will eventually. That oneshot is a Jalex.

Well, anyways...This is still a fanfic that I'm working on. Not sure how long it will. Hope you guys enjoy.

Oh, I may change the title, because I'm not sure if I like it. I do however, love the song. (Fionna Apple).

I may or may not have a song at the beginning or end of every chapter.

OK. So, I own nothing of Degrassi. Nor the song at the end of the chapter...I take no credit for Degrassi.

Read and Review!

* * *

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter One_

Broken

Jay Hogart sat on the trunk of his annoyingly bright orange Honda Civic outside of Degrassi Community School. He was waiting for her. A few days ago, they ran into each other the mall.

Flashback

_Jay was walking around the food court, trying to find an empty table to eat. But, since It was the day before the first day of school, the mall's food court was totally packed with people._

_After walking around for about 5 minutes, Jay spotted a girl sitting alone at a table. He walked towards her. Once he reached the table he softly cleared his throat._

"_Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here? Every table is full."_

_The girl looked up from the book she was reading, "I'm sorr—Jay?"_

_Jay's jaw dropped, "Emma? Sorry, I didn't know it was you. I was just looking..._

_Emma sighed, "It's ok. Sit. Eat. We can be civil for today."_

_Jay sat down and began to eat. Emma went back to reading her book. They were silent until Jay stood up to leave._

"_Listen, Emma. I know last year sucked..."_

_Emma nodded, "Yes, it did."_

"_Do you think that maybe...Would you want to hang out sometime? Not like before. Maybe see a movie?"_

_Emma smiled softly, "Actually, that would be nice. Pick me up after school on Friday."_

_Jay rolled his eyes, "You don't by any chance go to a new school?"_

_Emma laughed, "Unfortunately, no."_

_Jay laughed, "Damn. Alright. Well, I'll see you Friday."_

"_Bye."_

End Flashback

"Earth to Jay?"

Jay realized that Emma was standing in front of Jay waving a hand in front of his face, "Sorry. Spaced out."

Emma laughed, "It's ok."

Jay looked at her. She looked nice. More casual than normal. She was wearing dark blue hip huggers, a light blue baby tee that said 'CraZy' and black flip flops. Her hair was down and now had red highlights.

Jay smiled and pulled out his car keys, "Ready?"

Emma nodded and walked to the passenger side of the car. She got in, and Jay turned on the car.

"So what movie do you want to see?" Jay asked.

Emma turned to face him better, "I don't really feel like a movie."

Jay looked at her, confused, "Then what do you want to do?"

"Just hang out. Talk. Drive around."

"Sounds good. But we have to stop to eat eventually."

Emma smiled, "Sounds good."

Jay pulled out of the school parking lot and drove off.

XXXX

Manny stood on the steps of DCS, not sure if what she was seeing was real or not. She looked at the people around her, trying to see if they were seeing the same thing she was. But, no one seemed to notice or care that Emma Nelson was talking to Jay Hogart. And now she was getting in his car.

She continued to stare of the car. She followed it with her eyes has is sped past the school steps and down the street. She blinked a few times and shook her head. She realized she was being tapped on the shoulder. Manny turned around.

She was face to face with Alex Nunez.

"Was that Green Peace in Jay's car?" Alex asked.

Manny nodded slowly, "Uh huh. And I have no idea why."

Alex laughed, "Didn't she learn?"

Manny sighed, "Guess not."

Alex looked at Manny with semi caring eyes, "Make sure she knows what she's in for."

Manny cocked an eye brow, "Don't you think she already knows?"

Alex put her head down and then looked back at Manny, "Obviously not."

XXXX

Emma and Jay sat in at a picnic table at a random lake they found. They stopped at a small diner and got some food. Jay had finished the hamburger he got and was now munching on some fries. Emma finished her salad and was eating a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos.

"So, are we just going to sit in silence?" Emma asked.

"Of course not. But I don't know what you want to talk about."

Emma smiled, "Anything. We can ask each other questions?"

Jay laughed, "You want to play 20 questions?"

Emma nodded, "Yep."

"Alright. You go first."

Emma sighed, "Let's see...What is your favorite color?"

"Red."

Emma laughed, "I thought you would see bright orange."

Jay looked confused, "Why orange?"

"'Cause your car is orange."

"Oh yeah. I'm changing that soon."

Emma smiled, "Good."

"Alright, so... What went through you mind when everything happened with Rick?"

Emma looked down, "At first my mind was blank. I froze. Then I felt Sean's hand on my arm, and I could see my mom, my dad, my brother, my real dad...I saw my friends... Then I got angry, but I couldn't do anything. It was like I was stuck in that spot. When Sean walked up to Rick, my mind flashed to Sean and I's first date. It was such a disaster, yet it was one of the best nights of my life. When I heard the gun go off, I thought I got shot, but I still didn't move. Then I saw Rick and Sean fall. I wanted to scream. I felt trapped in time. I thought the person who was once the love of my life, was killed. Toby threw himself down next to the both of them, while I just stood there. Motionless."

Jay looked at Emma, feeling stupid for asking that question, "Emma, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."

Emma looked up at him, "It's ok. Really. I never actually said that out loud."

"Alright, your turn." Jay said quickly, trying to change the subject.

Emma looked him straight in the eye, "Why did you pick me?"

Jay looked at her, "What do you mean?"

"Out of all the girls you could have had those two nights at the Ravine, why me?"

Jay sighed, "I wanted to have what Sean had. I wanted to know what was so addicting that he always went back to you."

"Oh."

"Why did you come to the Ravine?"

"Because you were the only person who wanted me. My friends treated me as if I was going to break. I couldn't stand it. But, you didn't."

"Maybe I should have."

"Why?

"Because if I treated you the way everyone else was, then you wouldn't have...I wouldn't have gave you an STD."

"You make it seem like you asked if I wanted it. I didn't know and neither did you. It was an accident. And in the past. I don't judge you for it. I also don't hate you for it."

Jay sighed, "How many questions have we asked so far?"

"No idea."

Jay laughed, "Me either. Anything else you want to know?"

"Yeah. Do you miss Sean?"

Jay let out a small sigh, "I do actually. I haven't really talked to him since I told him about the Ravine."

Emma gasped, "You told him?"

"I had to."

"Why?"

"Because, he had a right to know. He wasn't mad. Just upset. He understood that I didn't know I had it, and everything."

"Does he hate me now?"

"No. Of course not. How could he?"

"Well, I haven't talked to him since the day we left him at his parents."

"Maybe we can go see him sometime."

Emma bit her lip, "Why not tonight?"

"What about your parents?"

"I'll tell them the truth...Kind of."

_If I had any meaning in this ol big world  
Can you tell a lost and lonely girl  
If I was happy for a day I'd risk it allThat's why when I'm with I'm not afraid to fall _

And if you left me, and if you leave me  
At least I'd have a cherish all the memories

I've been having trouble  
With keeping up this smile  
I've been having trouble  
Hurting for quite a while  
And I'm feeling stupid  
Cause I did it to me  
And I'm feeling desperate  
From being unhappy

Why'd you leave me like this?  
With scars across my heart and on my wrists  
When I looked in your eyes  
I didn't know happiness had a price

And you take advantage of a simple heartbreak  
At least you had to love to know how to ache  
But don't, hesitate to let your feelings be known  
It's better to love and lose then just be alone

And if they left you, and if they leave you  
At least you know in their heart they will always keep you

I've been having trouble  
With keeping up this smile  
I've been having trouble  
Hurting for quite a while  
And I'm feeling stupid  
Cause I did it to me  
And I'm feeling desperate  
From being unhappy

Why'd you leave me like this?  
With scars across my heart and on my wrists  
When I looked in your eyes  
I didn't know happiness had a price

I'm feeling broken  
Scattered pieces on the ground  
I'm feeling desperate now  
can abandoned souls be found

I've been having trouble  
With keeping up this smile  
I've been having trouble  
Hurting for quite a while  
And I'm feeling stupid  
Cause I did it to me  
And I'm feeling desperateFrom being unhappy

Why'd you leave me like this?  
With scars across my heart and on my wrists  
When I looked in your eyes  
I didn't know happiness had a price

**Song: Broken**

**Song owned by: Cassie Steele**


	2. Slipped Away

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Two_

Slipped Away

Emma pulled out her cell phone and speed dialed her mother's cell phone. Jay sat at the picnic table smoking a cigarette.

"Hi Mom. It's Em...I'm fine...Mom, I need a favor...No, I don't want a tattoo...Or a peircing...I want to visit Sean...Please, Mom?...It's been so long since I've seen him...I'll leave my cell phone...I can just pick up some clothes...I have money left from Shane, Mom...I'll be fine...Yes, I'll call you...Thank you...Love you, too." Emma hung up and walked back over to Jay.

"So, what's the damage?"

Emma smiled, "She said yes. I just gotta pick up some clothes."

"Alright, let's head to your house."

Emma laughed, "No, I mean at a store. No offense, but if my Mom knew I was going with you, she would kill me and you."

"Well, what am I suppose to do for clothes?"

"Oh come on, you like live out of your car. You have tons of clothes in there."

Jay rolled his eyes, "Fine."

Emma and Jay got in the car. Jay drove towards Sean's house.

About 30 minutes later, Emma looked at Jay, "Do you think we should go there tomorrow?"

"Chickening out, Em?"

Emma smiled that. He never called her Em. She liked it, "No, it's almost 10."

"Seriously? When did it get so late?"

"We can stay at a hotel."

"What, am I Mr. Moneybags?" Jay laughed.

"No. But I have money."

"Alright."

Jay found a hotel/motel about 20 minutes from Sean's. Emma got them checked in. While she was doing that, Jay grabbed a bunch of clothes from his car.

Emma opened the door to their room, and turned on the light. She looked around the room. Good sized TV, small table with two chairs, mini fridge, dresser, opened closet, bathroom, one bed.

"Uh...I told the guy two beds."

Jay gently pushed past Emma and dropped his clothes on the table, "I'll take the floor."

Emma sighed, "No. It's cool. It's a big bed. We can have our own sides."

Jay laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Emma rolled her eyes and walked over to the table, "We're here for 5 minutes and it already looks like your car. I can only imagine what your room looks like."

Jay was at the mini fridge, "Mind if I drink?"

Emma shrugged, "Go ahead."

"Want me to make you one?"

"One of what?"

"Um...Not sure yet."

Emma thought for a minute, "Sure."

An hour later

Emma and Jay were sitting at the table, throwing peanuts at each other. They were both pretty buzz. Jay was wearing black boxers that said smart ass and a baggy t-shirt that said 'G FCK Y RSLF Would you like to buy a vowel?'. Emma was wearing a white wife beater that Jay found in his car and a pair of his boxers over her underwear of course. Every now and then Jay would get up and make them another drink.

Emma threw a peanut at Jay that just missed his head, "I have bad aim."

Jay laughed, almost falling off his seat, "Yes. I agree."

Emma took another peanut and threw it at him, hitting him on the nose, "Not anymore."

Jay put his hand to his nose, pretending that it hurt, "I'm going to cry now." Jay began to fake cry.

Emma stood up and walked over to the ice bucket and grabbed a big piece of ice. She walked back over to Jay and wrapped her arms around him, "Oh, poor baby. Here, have some ice. It'll make it feel better!" Emma dropped the ice down the bag of Jay's shirt.

Jay quickly jumped up, "Oh my god! I'm so going to get you!" After dancing around for about 2 minutes, Jay finally got the ice out of his shirt. He ran over to the ice bucket and grabbed a handful of ice.

Emma was standing on the bed, "Not fair! I didn't but a handful down yours! I just put on piece!"

Jay laughed, "Tough luck, Em."

Emma bit her lip, '_He called me Em again...'_ Her thoughts were interrupted by Jay jumping on the bed.

"You are so dead!"

Emma quickly picked up a pillow and held it in front of her self, "I will so hit you!"

"Go for it!"

Emma pulled the pillow back like a bat, and swung it at Jay. When the pillow hit Jay, he fell off the bed with a thump. Emma jumped down next to him, "I am so sorry!"

Jay smiled, "It's ok." He reached up his hand, pulled open her shirt and dropped the ice down it. Emma screamed.

"You are such a jerk. Go make me another drink."

Jay laughed, "Of course."

Emma sighed, "I'm bored, now. I'm going to walk down to the vending machine. Want anything?"

"Get more soda for the drinks."

Emma nodded, "'K...Be right back. I'm going to leave the door open a little bit."

Emma left the room and walked down the hall. She walked past about 20 rooms until she got to the vending machines and ice machine. First she got a few sodas and then starred at the snacks.

"Hmm...What should I get?" Emma asked herself out loud.

"How about you get yourself to our room?" A voice said from behind her.

Emma quickly turned around. Their were three guys staring at her, "How about no?"

One with a baseball hat on laughed, "Don't get an attitude."

Emma rolled her eyes and grabbed the soda, "Look, I don't have time for this."

One with a lip ring stepped forward, "I think you do."

The third one, had a snake tattoo on his neck , "You know, a girl like you shouldn't be walking around in a pair of boxers and a wet shirt."

Emma looked down at her shirt. Her dark blue laced bra was visible through the wet material of Jay's shirt. '_Jay!' _Emma mentally hit herself, '_I can just scream and Jay should come...Or I can just make them follow me...'_

Emma pushed past the three guys and walked fast back to her and Jay's room. The door was still opened. When Emma was 4 doors from the room, the tattooed guy grabbed her from behind, "Where are you going in such a rush, honey?"

The baseball hat guy, put a hand over Emma's mouth. Emma let out a stifled scream. It was pretty loud.

The lip ring guy stepped in front of her, "That shirt looks uncomfortable."

"I think that's for her to decide." Jay was standing behind the group.

All of them looked at Jay, letting go of Emma, who quickly walked to Jay and stood behind him, "And you are?"

Jay laughed, "None of your god damned business. But if you touch her, I will kill all of you."

Emma heard foot steps behind her, and turned around, it was a security guard. Jay and the three guys noticed, too.

The guard walked up to them, "Is there a problem?"

Emma nodded, "I was getting some drinks, and these three started to bother me. They grabbed me, too."

The guard looked to the three guards. None of you have rooms here. Leave."

The three left.

The guard turned to Emma and Jay, "Go back in your room. I'll talk to the manager. Let him know what happened. I'm sure breakfast will be complimentary."

Emma smiled and Jay put out his hand to shake the guards hand, "Thank you, sir."

Emma and Jay went back into the hotel room, Jay turned to Emma once the door was shut and locked, "You ok?"

Emma smiled, "Thanks to you."

Jay rolled his eyes, "What were you thinking leaving the room with your shirt like that?"

Emma sighed, "Well, I didn't notice. I was kinda buzzed before I left."

"Was?"

"Well, almost getting raped by three guys will definitely make someone lose their buzz.."

"Ok...You have a point. Want me to make more drinks? Or do you want to go to bed?"

Emma laughed, "One more drink."

Jay smiled, "Sounds good."

Jay went back to making drinks and Emma picked up another shirt to change in to. This time it was a plain black baggy shirt. She took her bra off.

Jay turned around to see Emma drop her bra on the floor. He laughed, "Am I interrupting something?"

"No exactly. I was just getting comfortable." Emma reached for the hat that Jay had on the table. She put it on, "How do I look?"

Jay looked at her. His jaw fell open. She looked hot in his hat and shirt. He snapped out of it and grabbed his hat, "Sorry babe. Only my girlfriend gets to wear my hat."

Emma frowned, "Oh."

"What?"

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend."

Jay sat their confused, "I don't...Oh the hat thing. I meant only a girlfriend can wear it. I don't have one."

Emma smiled, "Good."

Jay gulped his drink and Emma took an average sized sip for a girl.

"So, Emma. What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're in a hotel room, drinking with a kid who you shouldn't even breathe near."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, I'm scum."

"Jay. Stop with the pity party."

Jay laughed, "I'm not asking for pity. I just don't know how we got here."

Emma laughed, "You drove."

Jay threw a stray peanut at her, "Smart ass."

Emma laughed and pointed to his boxers, "No you're the smart ass."

Jay shook his head, "I need boxers that don't say things."

"No, they're cute."

Jay smiled, "I think you look good in my clothes- - -"

Emma interrupted him, "If you say that would look better on the floor, I will hit you."

Jay laughed, "Oh come on. I live for cheesy pick up lines."

"I don't need pick up lines. I can get a guy with a look and a smile."

Jay laughed, "I think I put a little too much tequila and vodka in your drink, Em."

"You keep calling me Em."

"Am I not suppose to?"

Emma sighed, "Well, usually, only people I am really close to call me that. I don't mind when you call me that. I like it actually. A lot. The why you said, it's just so...I don't know."

Jay laughed, "That makes no sense. But, ok. Back to the look and smile thing. Prove it."

Emma rolled her eyes, "I can't on you. You know about it."

"See, you can't."

They sat in silence for 5 minutes. Emma looked at Jay with caring eyes. He stared back at her, and she smiled softly, lightly biting her lip while she smiled. It put Jay in a trance. Emma stood up and lightly kiss Jay on the cheek, "Night, Jay."

Emma climbed into bed. Staying on her side. A few minutes later the lights went off and she felt Jay sit on the bed. He turned on the light above the headboard, "Em, what was that?"

Emma smiled to herself and rolled over, "What was what?"

"What you just did?"

"I told you I could do it." Emma sat up, leaning against the headboard, Jay did the same.

"I give you props."

Emma pretended to bow, "Thank you. I can always leave a guy breathless."

Jay raised an eyebrow, "If you mean by kissing, I've kissed you. And no offense, you are a good kisser, but I wasn't exactly knocked off my feet."

Emma laughed, "I wasn't really trying."

"Ouch."

Emma smiled and leaned over to Jay. She lightly pressed her lips to his. She moved over so that she could get comfortable. She placed a hand on his cheek and slowly opened her mouth. Jay followed her lead. She moved again so that she was sitting on top of him. The kiss deepened while she got comfortable, making sure not to hurt Jay. The kiss was so rough but so passionate. Jay was never kissed like that, not even with Alex.

Emma let out a soft moan. Jay figured it was part of the 'breathless kiss' he was receiving. He tried not to get to involved with the kiss. He was going to just shrug it off when it was over. Soon, he had his hands wrapped around Emma. Not wanting to let go. She had both hands in his hair, lightly tugging on it.

Minutes later Emma pulled away. They were forehead to forehead. Emma was smiling and Jay looked like a 4 year old in a candy store.

"Well?" Emma asked.

Jay looked her in the eye, "Em, what are we doing?"

Emma rolled off of him, back to her side, "I don't know. Why?"

Jay sighed, "Let's just go to bed, Em. Night."

"Night."

_Na na, na na na, na na  
I miss you, miss you so bad  
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad  
I hope you can hear me  
I remember it clearly _

The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same  
Ooooh

Na na na na na na na

I didn't get around to kiss you  
Goodbye on the hand  
I wish that I could see you again  
I know that I can't

Oooooh  
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same  
Ooooh

I had my wake up  
Won't you wake up  
I keep asking why  
And I can't take it  
It wasn't fake  
It happened, you passed by

Now your gone, now your gone  
There you go, there you go  
Somewhere I can't bring you back  
Now your gone, now your gone  
There you go, there you go,  
Somewhere your not coming back

The day you slipped away  
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..The day you slipped away  
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...

Na na, na na na, na na  
I miss you

**Song: Slipped Away**

**Song owned by: Avril Lavigne**

* * *

What do you guys think so far?

I would write more, but it's almost 4 am. I'm tired and I'm sick.


	3. Endless Summer

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Three_

**Endless Summer**

Emma sat on the a chair at the table. Jay was still sleeping, it was of course, only 10 a.m. Emma sipped the coffee she got with her breakfast. That's why she was awake. The front desk called asking if they wanted breakfast. Emma told them to just send up some pancakes and lots of coffee.

Emma stood up and walked over to her bag and pulled out her cell phone. "3 missed calls?" Emma said out loud to herself. She looked through the missed call log, "Unknown...Unknown...Manny?"

Emma walked to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. When she was done, she stepped outside the room to call Manny.

_Ring Ring Ring_

"_Em?"_

"Hey Manny. You called?"

"_Uh, yeah. Where are you?"_

"I'm going to visit Sean."

"_Why?"_

"I miss him. Duh."

"_Who are you with?"_

Emma sighed, "No one."

"_Liar. I saw you yesterday. With Jay."_

Emma rolled her eyes, "And?"

"_Why were you with him, Emma? Are you trying to get another disease?"_

Emma laughed, "Why are you with Craig again, Manny? Hmm?"

"_Don't even go there Emma."_

"Well, then stay out of my business. If I want to hang out with Jay, I will."

"_Whatever, Em. See you when you get back."_

Emma didn't even say bye. She just hung up and went back in the room, where she found Jay sitting at the table scratching his head and drinking some coffee. Emma laughed at the sight of him, "Morning sunshine."

Jay yawned, "It's way too damn early, Em."

Emma laughed again, "Not really. Besides, I need to go shopping."

Jay clapped his hands mockingly, "OH! Can we get manicures?"

Emma smiled, "Only if you're a good little girl!"

Jay stood up and grabbed Emma's wrist. He pulled her back to the bed and wrapped his arms around her, laying her down with him.

"Jay, what are you doing?"

"Holding you captive before you drag me around a mall."

Emma bit her lip, she was in heaven with his arms around her. She whispered, "This is nice."

Jay let go, and sat up, "Emma, we need to talk."

Emma say up with him, "Yeah, we do."

Jay looked her in the eyes and put a hand on her cheek, "Look, Em, I like you. You're amazing. It's just..."

"Don't say you're not good enough. Please don't say it." A tear slid down Emma's cheek and Jay kissed it.

"I'm not."

Emma sighed and pulled Jay towards her, kissing him hard on the lips. She pushed him down on the bed and climbed on top of him. Jay turned his head and then looked back up at her, "Em, what are you doing?"

Emma took a deep breathe, "Just go with it."

And that's what Jay did. He pulled her back to him, kissing her harder. Emma pulled away quickly pulling off the shirt she was wearing revealing her breasts. Jay pulled her back down and began kissing her neck. Emma put her hand in his hair and pulled. Jay rolled so that he was now on top of her. He pulled off his shirt, revealing his abs and chiseled chest. Emma gasped at the sight. He was so sexy.

They were chest to chest and couldn't keep their hands or mouths off of each other. Emma was starting to pull down Jay's boxers when her cell phone rang.

Jay rolled off of her, "Shit."

Emma sighed and got up, "It could be my mom. I have to get it."

Emma followed the sound of her cell phone, and found it under the bed, she picked it up, "Unknown name, again."

"Again?"

"Yeah. I had 3 missed calls earlier. Two unknown and one Manny."

"Want me to answer?"

Emma handed him the phone, "Sure."

Jay took the phone and hit the green button, "This is Emma's pants. She's currently not in them, if you like I could leave her a message."

Emma laughed. Jay hit the speaker phone button.

A girl sighed, sounding annoyed, _"Heard it a million times Hogart."_

Jay's jaw dropped, "Alex?"

"_Yeah. I need to talk to Emma. So, take me off speaker and give her the phone."_

Jay handed the phone to Emma.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, Nature Freak."_

"Ok. Don't call my phone, and then call me that."

Alex sighed, _"Sorry. Why are you at a hotel with him?"_

"We're visiting someone today, and it was easier to just stay at a hotel."

"_Just be careful. Ok?"_

"Ok."

"_I'll text you my cell number, just in case."_

"Alright. Bye."

"_Bye."_

Emma hung up and looked at Jay, "I'm suppose to be careful."

Jay shrugged, "Oh."

"Yep."

Jay pulled her back down to the bed and kissed her, "You are amazing."

Emma smiled and bit her lip, "You are, too. But we need to get going."

Outside of Sean's

Emma and Jay sat in the car outside of Sean's house. They were sitting there for almost 20 minutes. They had drove all the way to his house, and now they weren't sure if it was a good idea.

"What if the reason he hasn't called us is because he hates us now."

"Maybe he hasn't called because we haven't called, Em."

Emma sighed, "Good point."

Jay looked at the lunch box looking house and then to Emma, "Before we go in, I need to know..."

Emma looked in his eyes, "Know what?"

"Are we, in a relationship sense, going anywhere?"

Emma laughed softly, "OK, are you the chick here?"

Jay rolled his eyes, "I just need to know."

"I think we are. I want us to. Do you?"

Jay nodded, "More than anything." Jay leaned in to kiss her, but there was a tap on his window. Jay turned around in his seat to see who it was.

It was Sean.

Emma opened her door and got out. Jay did the same. The two of them stood in front of Sean, who looked dumbstruck.

Sean ran his fingers through is hair, "OK, I most be seeing things. 'Cause it looks like you guys were about to have a moment."

Emma and Jay laughed.

Emma walked up to Sean and gave him a hug. Jay shifted his weight to his other leg and let out a jealous grunt. They pulled away and Jay and Sean did a 'manly hug'.

"So, what brings you guys here?"

Emma smiled, "We missed you."

Jay nodded, "It's just not the same back home without you man."

Sean laughed, "Let's go somewhere. Catch up. Like old times, just not. Because I've only hung out with the two of you at the same time once."

They all got in the car and headed for an unknown destination.

_We laughed, we cried  
And all the while we felt so alive  
It was you and me  
You grabbed my hand and you made me see  
What it could feel like  
And what it might be like  
You wrote my name in the sand  
In this endless summer  
We will be together  
And I dont want this feeling to ever end  
Looking back in november  
Feel the sun and remember  
That when our time has finally come to pass  
Some things last  
Some things always last  
Save goodbye  
Keep it frozen in december  
I need the high  
To get me through the ever after  
Cause now that it feels like  
Its far from what it was like  
When we wrote our names in the sand  
In this endless summer  
We will be together  
And I dont want this feeling to ever end  
Looking back in november  
Feel the sun and rememberThat when our time has finally come to pass  
Some things last  
Some things always last  
It's not what it feels like  
Its far from what it was like  
When I wrote your name in the sand  
In this endless summer  
We will be together  
And I dont want this feeling to ever end  
Looking back in november  
Feel the sun and remember  
That when our time has finally come to pass  
Some things last  
Some things always lastSome things last  
Some things always last  
We laughed, we cried  
And all the while we felt so alive  
It was you and me_

**Song: Endless Summer**

**Song owned by: Ashlee Simpson**


	4. Give It All Away

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Four_

Give It All Away

Sean sat in the back seat of Jay's car watching the silent flirting between his two friends. Every few minutes Jay would quietly reach a hand over and squeeze Emma's knee lightly. To retaliate, Emma would put her hand over his, only for a few seconds. Sean figured they didn't think he would notice.

Sean broke the silence, "So, where are we going?"

Emma turned to face him, "Two choice, 1 - Toronto. 2 - the hotel room."

Sean thought for a minute, "Wait, what hotel room?"

Jay laughed, "Me and Emma got one last night. We were hanging out last night and decided to visit you, but it was too late. So, Em decided we should get a room."

"Oh," was all Sean said. He wanted to find out why exactly Emma would be hanging out with Jay and flirting with him, after what happened between them.

They drove by a park and Sean told Jay to just go there. Jay pulled in to the parking lot and they got out. Jay left Emma and Sean to find a bathroom. Emma and Sean sat on the grass, "So, how are you and Ellie?"

Sean sighed, "Pretty much nonexistent."

Emma put a hand on his shoulder, "Is that what you want?"

Sean shrugged, "Honestly, I don't know. I love her or at least I think I do. Everything just got so messed up, Em."

"I know."

"I need to ask you something. You have to answer honestly."

"Go for it."

"I know what happened with you and Jay. After all that, how can you still like him? And I can tell there's something going on there. More than a friendship."

"Jay and I are just friends. We put the past where it belongs, behind us. Neither of us really have someone who is actually a real friend."

"What about Manny?"

"Her and everyone else still have the tendency to treat me like I'm going to break. Jay doesn't."

Sean laughed, "Yeah, because he wants to get in your pants!"

Emma stood up, "Sean, enough. Just stop. He isn't like that. Not anymore. People change. And if it wasn't for you leaving, I would have never went to the Ravine. I would had never went for Jay. In a way I'm happy for that. If you stayed I would have still seen Jay as an arrogant asshole who just liked getting in to trouble."

Sean jumped up, "So, you're thanking me for Jay giving you a STD?"

"Jesus, Sean! That's over! It happened months ago. Get over it. I did."

"It still happened, Em! What were you thinking?"

"You make it seem like we were together when it happened, Sean."

"Just tell me what you were thinking, Em. Please?"

Emma sighed, "Well, Sean for once in my life I wasn't thinking! I acted on impulse. I did what I wanted to do, not thinking of what would happen."

Jay walked back over to them, "Everything ok guys?"

Emma looked at Sean and then to Jay. She walked closer to Jay, grabbed him and kissed him. She pulled away and glared at Sean, "I wasn't thinking then, either!" She ran back to the car.

Jay looked at Sean, "I'm guessing I missed something?"

Sean sighed, "Yeah. Go. I'll walk home."

"You sure, man?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. Call sometime. Visit. We miss you."

"I'll try."

Jay walked back to his car and unlocked Emma's door for her. They both got in and Jay turned the car on. Then he turned to her, "What happened?"

"Nothing. Just Sean being Sean," Emma sighed. "I want to be with you Jay."

"What?" Jay asked, semi confused.

"You. Me. Boyfriend. Girlfriend."

"Are you serious?"

Emma nodded, "Yeah.

"Em, I don't know. We should just wait. See what happens."

Emma sighed, "Ok."

Jay put his arm around her shoulder, "Come here." He leaned in and kissed her. Emma kissed him back , loving to kiss him and feel him close to her.

Sean's P.O.V.

Sean stood next to a tree, perfect view of Jay's car. He watched the way Emma looked at Jay. Then, he saw Jay put his arm around her and pull her in for a kiss. He watched as Emma wrapped her arms around Jay's neck, willingly kissing him.

'Why is she doing this?' Sean thought to himself.

He punched the tree, causing his hand to bleed. Then he kicked the tree for making him bleed. He look back to Jay's car. They were now looking into each other's eyes.

'They must be together now...How screwed up can things get? I need to get back. I can't stay here anymore.'

"I need to get Emma back on the right path," Sean said to himself in a whisper.

_Hey you, living for tomorrow  
You sell your dreams for a pocket of change  
Hey you, smokin' up your sorrow,  
Just pointing fingers at someone to blame  
Hey you, you turn your back on your children  
It's left you in that big burning bed  
This life's like livin in the gutter  
All this pain just makes you feel dead _

You're just givin it all, givin it all away  
You're just givin it all, giving it all away, hey, hey yayayay

Slow down  
Just look a little closer  
You might find thats its not the end  
You wonder how, your life can get better  
When you're alone you just tear yourself down

You're just givin it all, giving it all away,  
You're just givin it all, givin it all away  
You're just givin it all, giving it all away,  
You're just givin it all, giving it all away, hey, hey yayayay

Try and find your better half now  
Open your eyes, and find yourself

Hey girl, screamin for attention  
Once you get it, you throw it away  
I'm broken, I'm pickin up the pieces  
I won't live in all your mistakes  
I'm just givin it all, givin it all away  
I'm just givin it all, giving it all away,  
I'm just givin it all, giving it all away,  
I'm just givin it all, giving it all away, hey, hey yayayay

**Song: Give It All Away**

**Song owned by: Ashlee Simpson**


	5. Burning Up

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Five_

Burning Up

Emma sat on the floor in front of her locker. It was now Wednesday. Jay had dropped her off at her house on Sunday. They haven't really talked since. When Emma arrived at school on Monday, she saw Jay in the office, with a woman. She figured it was his mother. She later found out that Jay was let back in to Degrassi. His mother had big connections or something.

It was lunch time, but Emma didn't feel like eating with everyone else. She also didn't want to run into Jay. She felt like he was avoiding her and she hated it. She decided that she would avoid him right back. Although, it was hard for her. Every time she saw him it felt like her world was melting around her and the only thing staying in place, was Jay. She would try to look away. He would feel her gaze on him and they would lock eyes. Then, she would walk away.

They both weren't sure what as going on. Jay only kept away because he wasn't sure how she felt about them talking and hanging out in public. He thought if they were seen together by the wrong person, her reputation would crumple again. He didn't want that. He didn't want to see her sad. But, avoiding her wasn't helping much, either.

Jay was walking down a hallway and spotted her. She was leaning against her locker, on the floor, eating her lunch. Jay had to talk to her. He made sure no one was around and walked up to her. Without saying anything, he slid down the locked next to the one she was leaning on, and sat beside her. She picked up the other half of her sandwich and handed it to him. He accepted once he noticed it was just peanut butter and jelly. They ate quietly for a few minutes. Then they both stood up. Emma opened her locker and through her lunch bag in. She closed it and faced Jay.

"Why have you been avoiding me, Jay?" She asked, in a shaky voice.

Jay sighed, "I wasn't sure if you wanted to have a public friendship. I didn't want people to talk."

Emma laughed, "I don't care! You know that!"

Jay put his hands on her waist and pulled her towards him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder. He gently pushed her against her locker and kissed her. They were so into it, they didn't here the lunch bell ring.

They both stopped when they heard a voice behind them, "Well, looks like we have a new couple at Degrassi."

Emma looked over Jay's shoulder, "Amy."

Jay turned around, "Jealous?"

Amy laughed, "Hardly."

Alex walked over to them, "Look, a reunion."

Emma tried not to laugh, "Hi Alex."

Alex smiled at Emma, "Still taking my advise."

Emma sighed, "In a way."

Alex nodded, "Good." Alex turned her attention to Amy, "Leave them alone, Amy. Or I'll have to punch you in the face, again."

Amy took a step back, "Whatever, Alex. Jay, give me a call when you're through with Nature Freak."

Jay laughed, "Not a chance in hell. I saw what happened when I cheated on my last girlfriend. I won't do that again."

Amy walked away and Alex looked at Jay, "Finally learning from your mistakes?"

"Kinda."

"Don't hurt her. I'm not saying that because me and her are friends or anything, I just don't want another girl to have to deal with your cheating."

"Alex, it was a mistake. I'm sorry."

"I know. I'm just saying, don't let it happen again." Alex walked away.

Emma laughed and grabbed Jay's hand. They began to walk down the hall to their next class, which they had together, "She seems nicer this year. Don't you think?"

Jay shrugged, "I guess."

After School

Emma stood on the front steps of DCS. She was waiting for Jay. He was staying after to talk to Mr. Ehl. She figured everyone had left, but then Manny walked up to her.

"Hey, Emma."

"Hi, Manny."

"Just wanted to let you know I talked to Snake and Spike, I'm coming back to your house. Things with my dad, just didn't work out."

Emma rolled her eyes, "Fine. But, I'll get the extra bed from the attic."

"Ok. So, you and Jay, official now?"

"Pretty much."

"Well, I gotta go. I have to go back to my parent's house and get the rest of my stuff. See you later."

"Bye."

A few minutes later, Jay walked out, "Hey, Em."

Emma hugged him, "Hey."

"Need a ride?"

"Sure."

In Jay's car outside Emma's house

"So, Em..."

Emma laughed, "So, Hogart..."

Shay shook his head, laughing, "You're a weird one."

Emma smiled, "I know."

"So, I was thinking we could, go to the movies on Friday...And I mean actually go to the movies."

"Of course."

"I don't want you to think I'm playing games, but I don't think we should make anything official yet. I think we should see how things go."

Emma nodded, "I agree, but no more avoiding me."

"I can live with that."

"Good. So, see you at school tomorrow?"

"I can pick you up, you know."

Emma rolled her eyes, "Then you would have to give Manny a ride because she's staying with me."

Jay made a weird face, "Good luck to you. But, if giving her a ride, means I can give you a ride, I can deal."

"Good. Call me later?"

"I guess so."

Emma hit him on the arm, "I mean it. I think my parents are going out tonight. So, you could come over. Watch some cheesy horror movie. Eat some popcorn. Make out."

Jay laughed, "Alright. Then you call me and let me know."

Emma sighed, "Fine. But the guy is suppose to call the girl first."

Emma gave Jay a quick kiss on the cheek and got out of the car. She didn't hear Jay drive off until she was already in her house. Emma smiled to herself, 'How sweet! He didn't leave until I was safe inside!'

_Every time that you're walking by  
I feel the vibe inside  
There's something about the way you are that's giving me butterflies  
Maybe the planets have aligned  
Maybe it's all in my mind  
So let me just introduce myself before I get too shy  
I've seen you in my dreams at night to you I fantasize  
You caught my eye, you're just so fine  
You caught my eye, you're just so fine  
I'm burning  
Up for you  
I'm burning  
Up for you  
I see diamonds in the sky  
Touch my hand and I can fly  
All this is a mystery  
So come on and dance with me  
I can't believe it's 4 a.m.  
Where did the time go  
I could sit here for days just hanging with you alone  
We got an instant history  
Some supernatural chemistry  
Can't you feel it, feel it ,oh  
But I'm giving you my number now before this goes too far  
It's getting really hot in here  
And soon it will be hard to say goodnight  
The times not right so say goodnightBefore I die  
You make me feel  
Like fire  
Is this love or just desire  
You make me feel  
Like fire  
Is this love or just desire_

**Song: Burning Up**

**Song owned by: Ashlee Simpson**


	6. Temporary Insanity

**A/N at the bottom.**

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Six_

Temporary Insanity

Emma walked to the kitchen, "Mom? Dad? Anyone home?" She walked to the fridge and found a note.

_Emma,_

_We went to Dad's parent's house for a few days. Dad took off some personal days. His mom is sick again. There's money on the table for take out or whatever. Enough for 4 days. We'll call later. Don't forget that Manny is staying with us. Dad took out the extra bed, you guys just have to set up. She should be here a little after school gets out._

_Love you,_

_Mom_

Emma pulled out her cell phone and called Jay.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey sexy."

"_What's up Em?"_

"Well, my parents are going to be away for a few days. So, I was thinking that you should stay the night."

"_Sounds good. I'll be there in a few."_

"Alright. See you, bye."

Emma put her phone down and the door bell rang. She walked over and answered it. It was Craig, Manny and a bunch of Manny's stuff.

"Hey, Emma," Craig said almost dropping the two boxes he was carrying.

Emma laughed, "Need some help?"

Manny passed her a bag, "Yes please! My parents made me take anything and everything."

They walked down to Emma's room. Craig continued to bring down the rest of Manny's stuff, while Emma and Manny set up the extra bed. When they were finished, Emma handed Manny some pillows and blankets.

"I think there's an extra dresser over here," Emma walked over to the storage part of the basement. "Found it!"

Manny walked over and helped Emma pull it out. They found a good spot for it near Manny's 'new' bed., "Awesome, now I don't have to live out of bags and boxes."

Emma smiled and heard the door bell ring, "Wonder how that is?"

A few minutes later they heard footsteps walking down the stairs.

"Emma? Jay Hogart is here, and is saying you invited him over." Craig said.

Jay walked past Craig and over to Emma, "Is it so hard to believe that she wants to hang out with me, Manning?"

Craig nodded, "Uh, yeah."

Manny looked at Craig, "Hun, they're friends. They hang out. Relax."

Later That Night

Emma and Jay sat on the bean bags that Emma had set up in front of her T.V. Manny and Craig were upstairs in the living room watching a movie. Craig kept giving Jay dirty looks, so the couples separated.

Jay and Emma were watching Halloween IV. Emma was practically in Jay's lap because she kept getting scared. When it was over, Jay got up.

"Where you going?" Emma asked.

"We need real food."

"Wanna go to the Dot?"

"Sure. Should we ask Manny and Craig to come with us?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Alright, let's get them."

They both walked up the stairs. They looked at the T.V., it was just a blue screen. They heard some movement on the couch.

Emma laughed, "Ew."

Craig and Manny jumped up. Neither of them had shirts on. Manny was just wearing her bra. Jay quickly turned around. Emma started laughing harder, "Alright. We're going to the Dot. Both of you are coming with, so you can take a break from whatever it was you were doing."

Manny started looking for her shirt, "Um, I can't find my shirt."

Jay, who was still turned around, saw Manny's shirt on the floor close to the kitchen, "Found it." He threw it at her with his eyes closed, "Don't want to know how it got all the way out here."

Ten minutes later, they all got into Jay's car. It seemed Craig was friendlier to Jay. Probably, Manny's doing. Jay parked and everyone got out. The two couples walked in and found an empty booth near the back of the restaurant. A few minutes pasted and a waitor walked to the table with his head down. He was looking at his small notebook that he used to write orders in, "Welcome to the Dot." He picked his head up, "How can I..."

Emma's jaw dropped, "Sean?"

Sean ignored Emma, "How may I help you all tonight?"

Craig glanced at his menu, "I'll have a burger, a side of fries and a Pepsi."

Sean wrote down Craig's order and looked at Manny.

"I'll have the same as Craig, please."

Sean wrote a two next to Craig's order. He then directed his attention to Jay.

"I'll have some fries and a vanilla milk shake."

Emma laughed, "Thought you said you wanted real food?"

"That is real food, Em."

Sean wrote down Jay's order and looked at Emma.

"Caesar salad. House Italian dressing on the side. Medium Sprite."

Sean wrote it down, "I'll ring your drinks in a few minutes." Sean walked way.

Manny looked at Emma and Jay waiting for an explanation, "Well?"

Jay looked at her, "Well, what?"

"Don't play dumb. Did you guys know Sean was coming back?"

"Yeah, didn't both of you go visit him?" Craig asked.

Emma nodded, "We did, but he never said anything about coming home. He seemed like he liked it with his parents."

Sean came back with the drinks, and Emma stood up, "I'll be right back." Emma pretended like she was walking to the bathroom. However, she made a detour and went towards the kitchen and almost collided with Sean.

"Emma, watch were you're going."

"Why are you back, Sean?"

"What, you don't want me here?"

"I'm not playing. Why are you back."

"I couldn't take living with my parents. I missed Ellie. You know what? I don't really have to explain myself to you."

"You told me you and Ellie were not together."

"No. I didn't say we weren't together."

"Fine, you implied it."

"Whatever, Em."

Emma sighed, "Listen, just stay out of my life, ok? I like what is building between Jay and I. Don't try to ruin it." Then, she walked away without waiting for Sean's reply.

A tear slid down Sean's cheek, "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even have a life."

_Da Da Da Da Da Da  
Da Da Da Da Da Da _

What just happened?  
Did you kiss me?  
Cause that's a place we've never been until now

And I don't know how it's gonna be after this  
Do we pretend these feelings don't exist at all  
Or do we fall?  
My confusion shows whenever you get so close  
I stumble, I stutter, forget what to say  
I'm nervous, I wonder why I'm acting this way

Chorus  
It's temporary insanity  
What's going on with you and me?  
Is it real or is it fantasy?  
Forever or just temporary?

Woah, oh, oh (insanity)  
Woah, oh, oh

You made a moved and changed your mind  
Too much to lose, you've crossed the line between friends  
And something more

Was it all a big mistake?  
And if it was, it's much too late to undo  
And I don't really want to

Let you go but I still don't know  
How I feel about you  
What this really means  
It's crazy to want you  
Is it meant to be?

Chorus  
It's temporary insanity  
What's going on with you and me?  
Is it real or is it fantasy?  
Forever or just temporary?

It's temporary insanity  
What's going on with you and me?  
Is it real or is it fantasy?  
Forever or just temporary?

Woah, oh, oh (insanity)  
Woah, oh, oh

Oh, what you do to me?  
What comes over me, oh?  
If this is crazy there's nothing I'd rather be

Da Da Da Da Da Da  
Da Da Da Da Da Da  
Da Da Da Da Da Da

Chorus  
It's temporary insanity  
What's going on with you and me?  
Is it real or is it fantasy?  
Forever or just temporary?  
It's temporary insanity  
What's going on with you and me?  
Is it real or is it fantasy?  
Forever or just temporary?

Losing my mind  
Losing my mind  
Losing my mind

Losing my mind  
Losing my mind  
Losing my mind

Da Da Da Da Da Da  
Da Da Da Da Da Da  
Da Da Da Da Da Da

**Song: Temporary Insanity**

**Owned by: Alexz Johnson**

_A/N: Thank you all for the reviews. No flames, yet. I hope you guys are enjoying it so far. I pretty much just make up the plot as I go along. I'm a big fan of the phrase, "And the plot thickens." I like drama in my stories. I have tons of ideas brewing in my head. I may even right a fan fiction based on Instant Star!_


	7. That Girl

Ok, how am I already on the 7th chapter! This story is like flying!

**This chapter does of a sex scene. Semi graphic. I must warn you that, I suck at sex scenes.**

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Seven_

That Girl

Later that night, after the Dot

Emma and Jay lay on her bed, kissing each other with such passion. When they got back, Craig had to leave. Manny said she would sleep on the couch, to give them some privacy. That wasn't the best idea. Emma was in her bra and panties. Jay had on his boxers and wife beater. They just wanted to be closer. They only were kissing, with a little touchy feely here and there. Jay wasn't sure at first, but Emma allowed him and told him it was ok. They stopped and parted from each other, trying to catch their breath.

Jay sat up, "Emma, what the hell are we doing?"

Emma looked at him, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know...This feels so good, but we shouldn't."

"Why?"

"Because, we're not together."

Emma laughed, "Didn't stop you before."

Jay shot her an angry, hurt look, "That was different, Emma."

"Yeah. You were serial cheating on Alex and I helped."

"I should go."

"No. Jay, don't."

Jay got up and put on his pants, "We can't do this, Em. We need to just be friends."

"Stop doing this."

"What?"

"You act like you want this, like you want me. Then you stop, and tell me we can't do this. Stop playing games with me!"

"I'm not playing games. I do want you. Believe me, I do. Things are just going to fast."

Emma rolled her eyes, "Ok. I'm the chick. That's suppose to be my line."

"Then why aren't you saying it?"

"Because I want this to happen. I want you."

Jay leaned into her and kissed her forehead, "Bye, Em. I'll pick you up for school tomorrow."

"Don't bother, I'll walk."

Jay sighed, "Fine. Bye." Jay left.

Emma walked over to her dresser and pulled out a tank top. She put it on, and went upstairs to see if Manny was still awake. She walked over to the couch, but Manny was sound asleep.

"Great. Now I actually have to go to sleep." She headed back down to her room, and she heard a tap at her window. She walked over to it. She opened it slowly, "Hello?"

"Hey, Emma."

It was Sean.

"What do you want?"

"To talk."

"Fine. Come in."

Sean climbed in through the window. He looked around her room, "I like your room."

"How did you know about the window."

"Jay."

Emma rolled her eyes, "Oh."

"Anyways, I'm sorry about yelling at you when you visited. You and Jay aren't my business. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Emma laughed, "Too late for that, I think."

Sean tried not to smile, "Why's that?"

"He was just here, but he left. We'll get into a heavy make out session, then he'll stop. He says we're not ready and we should just be friends. But, it's not what I want. I don't want to be friends with him, I want to be his girlfriend. He's hurting me, by not wanting to be with me."

Sean sighed, "It seems like he does want to. He's Jay. Sometimes he can be pretty logical. You should wait, and be friends for now."

"I guess." Emma bit her lip, still a little turned on from earlier. She looked at Sean, "Do you still have feelings for me?"

Sean nodded. Emma didn't hesitate. She pulled him to her bed and kissed him. He kissed back. He rolled over so that he was on top of her. He put a hand on her ass, bringing her closer to him. She moaned lightly in his mouth. She gripped the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his head. Only breaking their kiss for a few seconds. Sean then pulled over her shirt. He threw it aside. He looked down at her almost naked body. He kissed her neck and made his way down to her left breast. He kissed the thin fabric of her bra, causing her to moan a little loader. Sean sat up, and pulled her on to his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him harder. Sean felt the clasp on her bra and was about to unsnap it when they heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Sean was about to get up.

Emma laughed, "It's probably Manny. Don't worry. My parents are away."

Sean picked up Emma and playfully tossed her on the bed, he laid on top of her, kissing her and lightly thrusting against her. She could feel the bulge that had formed his pants.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!"

Emma and Sean both jumped out to see who it was. It was Jay.

"Oh my god, Jay."

Sean picked up his shirt, "I'm gonna go. Call me tomorrow, Emma. Same number." Sean left, this time walking up the stairs instead of out the window.

"Emma, what the hell?"

Emma walked over to where her shirt was and picked it up. She stood in front of Jay, in her bra and panties, holding her shirt in her hand, "What? You and me, are friends. Remember. I don't have a boyfriend. I can do what I want."

"I know that, Em. I just thought we would..."

"We would what?"

"Not see anyone else."

Emma laughed, "No. The only way I won't see anyone else, is if I have a boyfriend."

Jay walked up to her and couldn't help himself, he grabbed her and pulled her to him.

"Jay, what are you doing?"

Jay smirked, "What we were doing earlier."

Emma rolled her eyes, "So that you can stop us before we get anywhere?"

"No." Jay put one hand on the clasp of her bra and unsnapped it. He gently pulled it off of her, revealing her breasts. He pulled off his shirt and undid his belt, letting his pants fall right off of him. He held her hand and walked her over to the bed. He kissed her, and laid her down on the bed. He carefully got on top of her. She pulled him to her, and kissed him. She moaned into his mouth. They feeling of their skin touching was amazing. She liked it better than before. Jay sat up and pulled down her panties. Instead of going back to kissing her, he leaned down to kiss her hip bones. He left a trail of kisses from her hip bones to the top of her clitoris. She moaned when he got there, and thrust her hips in the air. He crawled back over to her mouth and kissed her harder. She put on hand on the top of his boxers and began to pull them down. He stood up and took them off the rest of the way, kicking them to side. He got back on top of her.

She looked him in the eye, knowing what was going to happen, "Do you have a condom?"

Jay nodded and reached to Emma's bedside table, "I put one here earlier. Just in case."

Emma smiled. Jay opened the condom wrapper and slipped it on. He looked into Emma's eyes. He kissed her gently on the mouth, "Tell me if you want me to stop."

Emma bit her lip, "Ok."

Jay positioned himself on top her, his penis ((was going to say dick, but it sounds so dirty)), guided itself into her. Jay slowly moved himself into her. He thought he was going to cum right there. She was so tight. He could feel Emma tighten her muscles. She was nervous.

"Em, you gotta relax. It'll hurt more if you don't." He felt her slowly relax. He couldn't help himself, he thrust all of him into her. She moaned in delight. He was happy it didn't hurt her.

Faster and faster her pumped into her. Her nails clawing at his back. He had a hand through her hair, lightly pulling it.

"Oh my god, Jay." She moaned.

Jay stopped for a second, "I'm going to go soon. Do you want to get on top?"

She nodded and he pulled out of her, slowly, teasing her. Jay took her spot on the bottom and Emma climbed on top. She moved her body up a little to let Jay in. She moved her body down, causing all of Jay to enter her, "Holy shit!" he screamed.

Emma kept thrusting her body up and down. Jay had his hands on her hips guiding her. He could feel her muscles tighten and he knew she was close. A few minutes later she screamed out, "Oh my god!"

Jay smiled, "You there?"

"Almost!"

Jay moved his hips up, moving wit her. He wanted them to orgasm together. Her nails dug in to his chest and Jay's tightened his grip on her hips. At the same time, they both screamed each other's names.

Emma collapsed on Jay's chest, out of breath. Jay slowly pushed her off of him, "I gotta take the condom off. If not, it'll get stuck inside of you when I go limp."

Emma sighed, "Ok."

Jay got up and pulled off the condom. He tied it up and put it on the floor so he could get dressed. When he was down getting dressed he walked over to the bathroom. He threw the condom in the trash and took a piss. When he was done he washed his hands and walked over to Emma's bed. Emma was still laying on the bed naked. Jay thought to himself, 'This is going to be harder than I thought. She's so gorgeous.' Jay sighed and leaned over to kiss Emma hard on the mouth. She sat up wondering why he wasn't getting back in bed with her.

"Look, Em. It was fun. But, I gotta go."

Emma looked at him, hurt, "Why aren't you spending the night?"

"Because I'm not."

"Why are you being an ass, Jay? Don't you realize that was my first time?"

"I know it was. That doesn't make us together, though. We're still just friends."

"So, you just wanted to get their before Sean did?"

"Wasn't I already there anyways?"

Emma picked up a book on the side of her bed and threw it at him, almost hitting him in the head.

"Watch is, Nelson."

"Get out. Now."

Jay walked up the stairs and left.

Emma's P.O.V.

'What is his problem! I just gave him my virginity, and he acts like that!' Emma started to cry, 'He probably didn't think it mattered so much because he most of thought I was about to give it too Sean two minutes before he walked down the stairs!'

Emma got out of bed and walked to her bathroom. She turned on the shower. She didn't need to get undressed, because she was still naked. She looked at herself in her full length mirror. She sighed. She noticed she had a few hickeys on her hips and some on her neck.

She laughed at herself, "I don't even know where some of these came from."

The mirror began to fog up and she climbed into the shower.

She wished she could just wash away everything that happened tonight. She wanted to just wash away Jay and Sean. She knew she couldn't, but she scrubbed her body so hard it started to bleed in some spots. She finished washing her hair and got out. She didn't bother with a towel, she didn't care.

She looked over at her clock, "Crap. It's almost 7! I didn't get any sleep and I have to go to school."

She walked to her closet and looked at her clothes, "I need to be sexy. Sexy enough so both Sean and Jay will fight over me." She grabbed her bathrobe and walked upstairs, "Manny has the clothes for that."

Emma walked into the kitchen and Manny was sitting at the table eating a muffin, "Hey, Em."

"I need to borrow some clothes."

Manny looked at her weird, "My clothes?"

Emma nodded.

"Why?"

Emma sighed, "Well, Jay and I were making out, like heavily. Then he decided we couldn't so he left. Then there was a knock at my window. It was Sean. He came in. We talked for a few minutes. I kissed him, and it led to his shirt being off and me being almost naked, just like with Jay. Sean was about to take my bra off, when Jay came down the stairs. Sean left. Jay and I had sex. Then, Jay was a total ass. I need an outfit that will make both of them fight over me."

Manny smiled, "Alright. Let's go."

They walked down the stairs. Manny walked over to her bed, which had all of her clothes dumped on it, "Ok. Jay and Sean seem to like the punk gothic type. So, you should wear some black." Manny pulled a short black pleated skirt out of the pile. Then she pulled out semi long sleeved black shirt that had a white broken heart picture on it, "This will work."

Emma smiled and took the clothes from Manny, "I have fishnets, too. And zip up, knee high boots."

"Awesome. Go get dressed and I'll go upstairs and get ready."

30 minutes later, Emma and Manny were ready for school. They grabbed their backs, and began to walk to school. When they were almost there, a car pulled up beside them. The driver rolled down the window, "Emma?"

Emma turned head to see who it was, it was Jay, "What do you want, Jay?"

Manny laughed.

"I just wanted to say hi. Need a ride?"

Emma rolled her eyes, "No."

"Why?"

"Because the school is right there."

"Oh." Jay drove away.

Manny and Emma walked in DCS and to their lockers. Craig was at Manny's waiting for her, "Hey Manny." He then saw Emma, "Um...hi Em?"

Emma laughed, "It's party of my master plan."

Craig looked confused, "Oh. Well, Manny, sorry but I have to take a test before home room. So, I'll see you at lunch?"

Manny nodded, "Give me a kiss first." Craig gave Manny a kiss and walked away.

Emma opened her locker.

"Jay was so mesmerized. It was so cool, Em."

"Can't wait to see Sean."

Manny looked down the hallway, "Don't think you'll have to."

"Hi, Emma." Sean said, looking at her new look, "You look..."

"Cameron! Get away from her!" Jay yelled walking up to them.

_You said you didn't need me (but you did)  
You said you didn't want me (but you do)  
It's kinda like a comedy  
Well first you kiss me  
Then you say we're through  
I say you got some issuses (yeah, you do)  
Some things you gotta work through (really do)  
It's sorta like a talk show, no wait a freak show  
When the freak is you _

Chorus  
I'm the smoke from your fire  
I'm that lie you can trust  
I'm the chord on your guitar  
I'm that girl you can't shut up  
I'm that blood you might need  
In your car when you speed  
In that cigarette you breathe  
You can't get rid of me

You said I wasn't funny (but you laughed)  
You said I couldn't drive fast (then you crashed)  
Funny how it works out  
With your big mouth  
You'll always get it back (ha ha ha ha)  
You thought you had me worked out (you're not deep)  
Mr. "I Screw About" (you're still a creep)  
At best you could've confessed  
That you're a big mess  
And that you're so damn weak

Chorus  
I'm the smoke from your fire  
I'm that lie you can trust  
I'm the chord on your guitar  
I'm that girl you can't shutup  
I'm the blood you might need  
In your car when you speed  
In that cigarette you breathe  
You can't get rid of me

But still, I try and justify  
Try to let this die  
We'll never say goodbye I can't waitI'll rub it in your face  
Dressed in pretty lace  
I'll send you home, to cry

Ha ha ha ha ha  
Ha ha ha ha ha  
Ha ha ha

Chorus  
I'm the blood you might need  
In your car when you speed  
In that cigarette you breathe  
You can't get rid of me  
Yeah, yeah

Ha ha ha ha ha  
Ha ha ha ha ha  
Ha ha ha  
in _repeat 2x _

Can't get rid of me

**Song: That Girl**

**Owned by: Alexz Johnson**


	8. Let Me Fall

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Eight_

Let Me Fall

Emma laughed as Jay walked over to her, Manny and Sean, "What's wrong, Jay? Jealous?

Manny held in her laughter, "Sorry, Em, but I got to get to class. Fill me in."

"Later, Manny." Manny walked away.

Jay got in Sean's face, "What were you doing at her house last night?"

Sean rolled his eyes, "I think you have an idea."

Jay made a fist with his right hand and pulled his arm back to hit Sean. Emma jumped in front of Sean, facing Jay, "Don't Jay."

Jay lowered his arm, "Thanks for last night, sexy. You move in all the right ways."

Sean looked at Emma, "What's he talking about?"

"Don't worry about, Sean. Just go to class. I have to talk to Jay."

Sean gave Emma a quick kiss on the lips, "See you at lunch."

Emma watched as Sean walked away and when he turned the corner she looked at Jay with disgust, "Why are acting like this?"

Jay smirked, "Like what?"

"Like a total asshole."

"Well, why are you acting like a slut?"

Emma slapped him across the face, "Last night, meant a lot to me, Jay."

Jay laughed, "Doubt it. You were about to give it away to Sean before I walked in. Would it have meant a lot then?"

Emma put her head down and let a tear fall, "Not as much. I don't know why I did what I did with Sean."

Jay shook his head, "I don't care, Em."

Emma looked him in the eye and stepped closer to him. She wrapped her arm around his neck and kissed him. It was a kiss just like at the hotel minus her being on his lap. It last for half of a minute. She pulled away and looked at him "I don't know why I let myself get caught up in you again. Bye, Jay." Emma walked away.

Jay stood there, in front of Emma's locker, mouth wide open. His mind hadn't processed what just happened. He looked down the hallway that Emma walked down. She was already gone.

Jay hit himself in the head, "What the hell am I doing!"

Lunch outside

Emma, Manny and Craig sat at a picnic table outside of Degrassi. Craig and Manny were talking about some random gig Craig was trying to set up for the band. Emma was in her own little world. She was snapped out of it when someone tapped her on the shoulder. Emma looked at the tapper, "Hey, Alex."

Alex smiled, "Can we talk?"

Emma sighed, "Sure. Manny, I'll see you in class. Bye Craig."

Emma walk with Alex to another table and they both sat down, "So, what's up, Alex?"

Alex looked at her with concern written all over her face, "What happened?"

"With?"

"Jay and Sean."

Emma shrugged, "Well, as Jay says I was acting like a slut."

Alex laughed, "He's not one to talk."

Emma laughed, "I guess not."

"You don't have to tell me what happened. But, I'm going to give you some advice."

"Ok."

"Jay's acting like he wants revenge for something. This is never good. He's either mad at you or Sean. Maybe both. I think he's more mad at Sean but is going to use you to make him mad. I can tell Jay likes you, really likes you. But, when it comes to revenge, Jay will do whatever it takes. Steer clear of him. I know you guys have a thing, just watch what's going on. Ok?"

"Alright. Thanks, Alex."

Alex shrugged, "Not a problem."

Emma sat quiet for a minute, "My parents are away for a few nights. It's just me and Manny at my house for a few days. If you want, you're more than welcome to come over to night. You can spend the night, too. If you want."

"I'll see. I have work."

"Alright. Well, you know where it is right?"

Alex nodded.

Emma stood up, "Well, hope to see you tonight. I gotta get to class."

"Bye."

Emma walked away from Alex and in to Degrassi. The hallways were empty because lunch wasn't over yet. She walked past a janitor's closet and felt a hand around her wrist pulling her in. She was about to scream when a light turned on.

"Em, it's me. Relax."

"What the hell, Jay!"

Jay sighed, "I'm sorry for last night and today. I know it meant a lot to you. I just got so jealous when I saw you with Sean. Then, you come to school dressed like this..."

"What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?" Emma asked looking down at her outfit.

"Nothing. You just look so sexy."

Emma smiled, "That's the idea."

Jay put a hand on her waist, "Last night, was amazing."

Emma nodded, "I agree."

"I shouldn't have left like I did. I was just so set on making Sean mad, I didn't think about your feelings."

"I know, Jay."

Jay put his other hand on her waist, "You know, lunch isn't over for a good twenty minutes..."

Emma looked at him and laughed, "In here?"

"If you want..."

"I don't know, Jay."

"Can I convince you?"

"You can try."

Jay pulled her closer and started to kiss her neck. He let his hand wander and then stopped at the bottom of her skirt. He slowly slid a hand up her thigh. When he reached her crotch, she moaned.

"Did I convince you?"

"Yes."

Jay smiled and kissed her hard on the lips. Emma's hands went straight for his jeans. She quickly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. Jay let his jeans fall to his ankles. He pulled down Emma's fishnets and thong. He wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up. Emma wrapped her legs around his waist. He walked over to a wall and pressed her back up against it. Emma moved up the wall a little bit so she could just slide right on to Jay's already hard 'member'. Once he entered her, Emma moaned loudly. She put a hand to her mouth and one around his neck. Jay pumped in and out of her. He loved the feeling. She moved her in and kissed him hard. His mouth quieting her moans.

Ten minutes later Emma soflty moaned, "Jay...I'm almost there...Oh my god..."

Jay pumped faster, "Almost, Em. Almost."

Five minutes later they both came. Jay put Emma down and she pulled up her fishnets and thong and fixed her skirt. Jay pulled up his jeans and looked at Emma, "You might want to fix your hair."

Emma pulled her hair back into a low messy bun, "Better?"

"Yeah."

"Shit. That was the bell."

"Alright, you go first."

Emma gave Jay a hard kiss on the lips and walked out of the closet. She then ran to her class.

Jay waited a few minutes and stepped out of the closet (haha Jay came out of the closet!). He walked to his class, which was the same as Emma's. He saw Emma in the back of the room, fixing her make up. He took the seat next to her, "What were you doing during lunch, Nelson?"

Emma laughed, "You."

"Oh yeah."

Manny walked in the class room and looked at Emma and then back to Jay. She walked over to them and took the seat in front of Emma. She turned around, "Um, Em, how did your hair, and make up get so messy?"

Jay smiled and started to laugh. Emma reached over and his Jay in the arm, "I have no idea."

Manny smiled, "I'm sure."

_I feel chained, chained down  
You shoved me to the ground  
I can't run, I can't shout  
Just let me out _

So heartless, this couldn't mean less  
Gonna push it in your face  
I'm only human  
And I've got something to say

Chorus  
Let me rise, let me fall  
Let me breathe  
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all  
Let me break, let me crawl  
Cause I'll get back up again if you let me fall

If I burn down in this fire  
Well, I got myself to blame  
I can't stop or give it up  
I need to feel the pain

Can you hear me?  
Don't come near me  
You'll just get in my way  
I'm only human  
And there's nothing you can say

Chorus  
Let me rise, let me fall  
Let me breathe  
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all  
Let me break, let me crawl  
Cause I will get up again if you let me fall

Say you know who I am  
And what I'm about  
Then you'll understand that I feel alone  
I live my own life

Chorus  
Let me rise, let me fall Let me breathe  
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all  
Let me break, let me crawl  
Cause I will get up again if you let me fall

Yeah, yeah, yeah  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah  
If you let me fall  
If you let me  
If you let me fall  
If you let me fall

I will get up again if you let me fall  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
Yeah, yeah  
If you let me fall  
If you let me fall  
Let me fall

**Song: Let Me Fall**

**Owned by: Alexz Johnson**

* * *

**Chapter wasn't that great. Oh well. Sex in the closet, gotta love it. Next few chapters, Jay will continue to be hot and cold. Sean will still try to get Emma totally away from Jay.**


	9. Your Eyes

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Nine_

Your Eyes

Emma sat on her front porch waiting for Alex. Alex called and told Emma she was getting out of work at ten and she was going to head over there after. It was now 10:05. She heard someone walking down the street. She figured it was Alex so she got up and stood in the light. It wasn't alex, it was Sean.

Emma smiled, "What are you doing here?"

Sean walked up the steps, "I was on my way home."

"Since when do you walk this way to get home?"

"I was at the Ravine. Jay was there."

"Yeah, he still goes there to drink. It's not like before."

"You sure about that?"

Emma sighed, "I want to be."

"He was coming out of the van."

"Great. With who?"

"Sure you want to know?"

"Yes, Sean."

"Amy."

"What the hell! I'm going to kill him. How could he? I thought we were finally together after what happened at lunch!"

Sean looked at her confused, "What happened at lunch?"

"Come inside," Emma walked into her house and Sean followed, "We kind of had sex in a closet."

"You lost your virginity in a closet, at school, with Jay?"

"Why are you assuming I was still a virgin?"

"Because I just know."

"Anyways, no. I lost my virginity after you left, in my room, on my bed, with Jay."

"What?"

"After you left, he said..."

"He said whatever he said because he wanted to get with you. Can't you see what he's doing? You are not that dumb, Em! You are just a toy to him. Every time he wants something, he'll say something sweet and romantic. And you go crawling back. When he's done he'll toss you aside."

"Sean, I think you should go."

"Why is Jay coming over?"

"No Alex is."

"Oh."

Emma began walking to the door, "I'll see you tomorrow Sean." She had the door half open and Sean leaned in. He kissed and she kissed back.

"Um..."

Sean and Emma pulled away, it was Alex. "Hey, Lex," Sean said.

"How's it going, Sean?"

"Good. I was just leaving. Bye, Em." Sean left.

Emma let Alex in and they walked to the kitchen, "How was work?"

Alex laughed, "Boring. So, what did I just walk in on?"

"Nothing."

"Liar. Guess who I saw that movies?"

"Who?"

"Jay. With Amy."

"Great."

"Yeah. Don't tell my boss, but I spit in Amy's drink."

Emma laughed, "Let's go play Jay a visit. Sean saw him at the Ravine, with Amy."

Alex smiled, "Get Sean to come. Might need him."

"Good idea."

At The Ravine

Alex, Emma, Sean and Manny walked to the area of the Ravine where they knew Jay would be. Alex pointed out Amy, "Jay has to still be here if she is."

And then, Jay walked out from the middle of a small group of people. Alex grabbed Emma, and whispered, "This will make him more jealous." And kissed her.

Jay walked over to them, "Can I get in on this?"

Emma and Alex pulled away. Alex and Manny walked away. Leaving Emma with Sean and Jay.

"Why are you here with Amy?" Emma asked.

"I'm not here with anyone. Why are you kissing Alex?"

"I wanted to."

Sean put his arm around Emma, "We done here yet?"

Jay stepped to Sean, "Looks like she came here for me, so why don't you leave?"

"Why don't you make me?"

Jay laughed, "What are you 13?"

Sean pushed Jay and Jay lost footing for a second and pushed Sean back.

Emma let out a small annoyed screamed, "I'm so done with this. Both of you can settle this fight without me. I don't get why you were jealous of Sean. And Sean, I don't know why you came back. I'm going to go have some fun." Emma walked away and over to a group of guys. She looked at the hottest one, "Hi. I'm Emma."

He looked her up and down. She was wearing hip huggers and a black halter, "And I'm in heaven."

Emma laughed playfully, "What's your name?"

"Jeff."

"Well, Jeff, why don't you show me what's in the van?"

Jeff stood up and put his arm around her, "Gladly."

_Emma's P.O.V._

They walked over to the van and got in. Jeff slid the door shut and locked it. Jeff bit his lip and made his way over to Emma. He tried to kiss her but she stopped him, "Look, I'm just trying to get these two guys jealous. I don't want to do anything with you."

"Well coming in here with me states otherwise." He pushed her down hard, and kissed her on the lips.

Emma tried to push him off, "Stop!"

He slapped her across the face and sat up. He undid her pants and pulled them down. "Listen, bitch. Just shut up. It'll be over before you know it." He started to undo his belt.

Emma took this has her chance. She looked at the side door, but she knew she couldn't get past him. She looked at the window closest to her and slid it open, "Help!"

Jeff pulled her down and punched her in the face this time, "What did I say!" He pulled off her top, "No bra...Sexy."

Emma started crying, "Stop please."

Jeff started to pull down his boxers when there was a bang on the side of the van, "What the hell is going on in there?"

Emma screamed, "Help! Please help me!" Jeff stood up and kicked her. Emma could hear people trying to open the doors. None of them were opened. They were all locked. Jeff began to pull up his pants. Then there was a smash. Something went through a window. She heard one of the door's open and the van shook a little. Jeff was getting out.

Emma could faintly hear people talking. She thought she heard Alex. She wasn't sure. She felt so far away from anything. She cried harder and began to shiver. The van shook again, "Leave me alone. Just leave me alone," she whispered.

Emma rolled over trying to get up. She felt a jacket cover her, "Em, it's ok. It's me. Let's go."

It was Jay.

_Outside of the van P.O.V._

Jay and Sean watched as Emma went into the van with some guy. They both were pissed off and jealous.

Jay laughed, "Hope she knows what she's getting in to. That's Jeff. He likes to cut to the chase."

Sean gave Jay an evil look, "It's your fault she's in there."

"No, Sean. She's a big girl. She does what she wants."

"You invited her here the first time."

"I didn't drag her here. She came willingly."

"You never should have invited her."

"And I wouldn't have you didn't leave!"

They both saw Alex and Manny run over. Manny looked at Sean, "I think Emma's in trouble!"

Jay looked to the van and back to Manny, "Why?"

Alex sighed, "The window slid open and she yelled help. Didn't you hear?"

Sean shook his head, "No."

Jay ran over to the van and banged on the side, "What the hell is going on in there?"

He heard Emma scream, "Help me please!"

Manny, Alex and Sean ran up to Jay. They began to try all the doors. None would open. Jay picked up a rock and threw it at a window. It smashed. He went to climb through the broken window, when the side door opened. It was Jeff.

"Ever hear of privacy?"

Alex walked up to him, "What the hell are you doing to her?"

"Nothing."

"Doesn't sound like nothing."

"Oh, you mean her screaming? She said she likes to role play when she has sex."

Jay pushed him out of the way, "Bull shit."

Alex punched Jeff in the face and he fell, "Stay away from her."

_Back in the van_

Jay climbed in the van and found Emma curled up on the blankets. He could hear her whispering, "Leave me alone. Just leave me alone."

Jay took of his jacket and put it over her, "Em, it's ok. It's me. Let's go."

Emma rolled over and looked at her savior, she realized it was Jay. She sat up and wrapped her arms around him. He helped her get the jacket on. He picked up her jeans and top. Jay helped her out of the van. He wrapped an arm around her and Manny ran over to her and hugged her, "Oh my god, Em. Are you ok?"

Emma nodded, "I just want to go home."

Alex and Sean were over next to Jeff. After Alex punched Jeff he got up and tried to hit her. Sean stepped in front of Alex and blocked Jeff's punch. So now, Alex and Sean were finishing him off. When they saw Emma, Jay and Alex walking away from the van, they followed. They walked to Jay's car. Manny, Sean and Alex climbed into the backseat and Jay helped Emma in front. Jay got in and drove to Emma's house.

When they got there, Manny, Sean and Alex stayed upstairs and Jay helped Emma downstairs. She was still a little shaky. Jay got her in bed. And he was about to walk away. Emma sat up, "Jay, don't leave."

Jay nodded and walked over to her bed. He slipped off his shoes and laid down next to her. She cuddled up next to him, "Thank you, Jay."

Emma fell asleep quickly in Jay's arms. Jay was still awake, processing everything that has happened. He sighed, kissed Emma's forehead and whispered, "I think I love you, Em."

If I was drowning in the sea  
Would you dive right in and save me?  
If I was falling like a star  
Would you be right there to catch me?  
If I was dreaming of your kiss  
Would you look right through me?

On the street I'm waiting  
In my heart it's raining  
Your eyes are holding up the sky  
Your eyes make me weak, I don't know why  
Your eyes make me scared to tell the truth  
I thought my heart was bullet-proof  
Now I'm dancing on the roof  
And everybody knows I'm into you

If my heart was sadder than a song  
Would you still listen?  
If my tears fell on you, one by one  
Would you see them glisten?

On the street I'm waiting  
In my heart it's raining

Your eyes are holding up the sky  
Your eyes make me weak I don't know why  
Your eyes make me scared to tell the truth  
I thought my heart was bullet-proof  
Now I'm just dancing on the roof

Every single thing you say makes me want to run away  
Sometimes love's a rainy day but life goes on

Your eyes are holding up the sky  
Your eyes make me weak, I don't know why  
Your eyes make me scared to tell the truth  
I thought my heart was bullet-proof  
But I'm dancing on the roof  
And everybody knows I'm into you

**Song: Your Eyes**

**Owned by: Alexz Johnson**


	10. Harder Everyday

Oh, by the way, it's now Friday in this story. School started on Wednesday Sept. 7, 2005. It's now Friday Sept. 16, 2005.

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Ten_

Harder Everyday

Emma woke up alone in her bed. She slowly sat up. She looked around her room. Manny was sleeping on her bed, Sean was sleeping on a bed made on the floor and Alex was a few feet away from him sleeping. She looked at the clock, it said 5:30 a.m. She slowly got out of bed. She stood up and looked down at what she was wearing. She still had on Jay's jacket. Underneath she still only had on her panties from last night. She walked to the bathroom, well more like limped. Her side was killing her. She closed the door and walked over to the full length mirror. She took off Jay's jacket. She had a bruise on her right side. It looked like someone threw a basketball at her. She then examined her face. The right side had a cut on it from when he slapped her. Her left side had a black eye. She also had a fat lip. She wasn't sure which hit she received that from. She walked to the shower and turned it on. She slipped off her panties and climbed into the shower. Once the water hit her, she began to cry.

She mentally slapped herself, 'How could I have been so stupid? I should have never went in the van with a total stranger.'

She scrubbed herself just as hard as yesterday. She leaned against the shower wall and knocked a few things off their shelves. She leaned over to pick them up. She picked up the Dove soap bottle, the Sauve shampoo bottle and a face cloth. She looked around the shower flower to see if she picked up everything. She missed something. She looked at the drain. A razor saw moving with the water, trying to escape down the drain. She picked it up and stood up. She turned so the water was facing her back. She looked at the razor. Examined it. It began to pull out one of the blades. A few minutes later it was out. She put it aside and continued her shower. She washed her hair and finished cleaning her self. When she was down, she turned the shower head of and lit the faucet run. She sat on the shower floor and picked up the blade she pulled out. First she put it to her wrist. Then, decided against it.

'Jay will see...' She thought to herself.

She looked down at her leg. She picked a spot on her thigh that wouldn't show with skirts, but wouldn't get irritated if fabric rub against it. She held the blade against her thigh. She closed her eyes, and pressed down. She slowly glided the blade against her flesh. It hurt a little bit, but she liked this pain more than the emotional pain she was conflicted with. She picked up the blade, and put it down on fresh, uncut skin. She pulled it across her skin again. This time, it was deeper and longer. She dropped the blade and watched the blood trail down her leg and swirl around the drain. She stood up and got out of the shower. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself. She grabbed some toilet paper and pressed down on her new cuts. Once they stopped bleeding, she walked out of the bathroom, making sure her cuts weren't visible and back to her room. She noticed that her friends were no longing sleeping. They weren't even in her room.

Twenty minutes after her shower, Emma was ready for school. It was still early, almost 6 a.m. She headed upstairs in to the kitchen. Alex, Manny, Craig and Sean were sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal. Craig looked at her and jumped up. He walked over to her, "Emma! What the hell happened?"

Emma looked at Manny, "You didn't tell him?"

Manny shook her head, "I didn't think you wanted people to know."

"It's Craig. I don't mind."

Manny filled Craig in and Craig looked so angry, "You didn't call the cops? None of you?"

They all shook their heads, "We would have all been attacked if we did. We would have narked on over 30 people. That's not something you actually want to do." Alex said.

Craig sighed, "I guess. You should at least do something about the bruises, Em. Aren't your parents coming home soon?"

Emma jumped up, "Shit! I haven't checked the answering machine at all since they've been gone." Emma walked over to the answering machine in the living room. It flashed 5 NM, "I have 5 new messages." She hit play.

"_This is a courtesy call...Please hold for -"_

Emma hit delete.

"_Emma or Manny if you're there pick up. -_pause- _Snake's mom doesn't look too good. We have to stay a little longer.A few more days or even over a week. Joey is going to be giving you money on Friday._ _I'll call again soon. Love you."_

Emma hit delete again.

"_Emma it's Mom again. Where are you? Don't forget about the money. Love you."_

Delete.

"_Snake wants to stay with his mother until she passes. The doctor said it's any day now. I would just come home, but Snake thinks Jack should spend as much time with her as possible. Talk to you soon. Love you."_

Delete.

"_Em, three calls, and still no answer? I'm calling school today so that I can talk to you. Go to Joey's after school. Love you."_

Delete.

Emma felt bad for her dad. She never really met his mother, but she knew that it must hurt him to see her sick. "So, who wants to help me cover some bruises?"

Lunch

Emma walked out of the office. She just got off of the phone with her mom. They were staying for, the most, two weeks. Emma kind of liked being on her own. She liked the freedom. She walked outside and looked for her friends. When she finally spotted Manny, she walked over to her, "Hey, Manny."

"Hey, Em."

"Mom's going to be gone for close to two weeks."

"Wow. It sucks why, but it's kind of cool."

"Yeah."

Manny handed Emma a bag of ships, "Here. I grabbed a few. I thought everyone had our lunch today..."

"Jay's suppose to."

"Still haven't talked to him?"

"No. I want to know why he just left. Not a note or anything."

"Why's he being a dick?"

"No idea. I think he's just scared."

"He's one confusing guy."

Emma nodded and ate her chips. They ate in silence until Alex walked over, "Hey, ladies."

Emma smiled, "You might ruin your rep by sitting with us you know?"

Manny laughed throwing a bag of chips at her, "Yeah. Gotta protect the bag girl gangsta image."

Alex opened her chips and threw some at Manny, "Well, sometimes, people have to protect something other than image. Like a certain, candy bandit we all know and loathe,"

Emma laughed, "No, he's still definitely protecting his image."

"And what was he doing last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"He rescued you from the horny goat boy. He wasn't protecting his image then."

"He would have done the same thing to any other girl."

"Well, yeah. But would he give the girl his jacket, carry her to his car, get her in the car, get her in to her own bed safe and then lay with her?"

Emma sighed, "No."

"Alright then."

Manny rolled her eyes, "Sometimes, life is too full of drama."

After school, The Ravine

Emma sat on the picnic table she met Jay at so many months ago. No one was here. It was, after all, still daylight. School had just let out but Emma had been sitting there since she left Alex and Manny after lunch. She wasn't sure why she left school. She wasn't even sure why she went to the Ravine. She held Jay's jacket in her hands. The jacket he hardly ever was seen without. It was his third Jay trademark. The first being his smirk and the second his hat. She decided she would stop contact with Jay. She didn't know what was going on with him. She wasn't sure she cared. It was more of a longing to know of what he was doing when he wasn't with her. She also decided what she felt for him was only lust. Lust for a care free life. Lust for something she knew she would never have with him. Lust for...

"Jay..." Emma saw Jay walk towards her.

"What are you doing?" He asked with concern in his voice.

"Just thinking. I knew no one would be here during the day."

"No one will be coming here for a while."

"Why?"

"The cops came after we left."

"Who called?"

"Don't know. Someone heard the fighting. Everyone ratted Jeff out. He's in jail. Non one would give the cops your name though."

"Do you think they should have?"

"I don't know. That's up to you. If you want to report him, do it today, rather than tomorrow."

Emma sighed and stood up. She held out Jay's jacket, "Thanks for helping me last night, Jay. You left this at my house last night. We should leave each other alone for a while. Wait for things to cool down. I don't know what's going on. I don't even think you know. It's best for us to just stay out of each other's ways."

Jay sighed, "Keep the jacket. For now. Give it back when you think we're ready to be around each other again." He walked over to her and gave her a hug. She hugged him back. They separated and she walked towards the school. He just stood there and didn't say a word."

Emma walked back to the school and saw her friends waiting for her. She walked over towards, "Waiting for me?"

Craig laughed, "You getting old, Em?"

"What do you mean?"

"Remember the message from your mom...She told you Joey has money for you."

"Oh yeah."

Manny and Alex laughed.

"Well, then let's get going."

One Week Later, Saturday Night, the mall

Emma walked from store to store at the mall, looking for nothing at all. She was just bored. Manny and Craig were at some fancy restaurant. Alex was working and so was Sean. She had nothing else to do. She was wearing light blue hip huggers and a black baby tee. Over it, she wore Jay's jacket. She loved the smell of it. It smelt like him. She never wore it in school, though. People might think they were together. Which they weren't. She walked passed a record store, and decided to skip it. She was almost passed, when she felt the urge to go in. She walked in the store and began to look around.

She walked over to the listening section and put on a pair of headphones. Supergarage poured into her ears.

_You were so innocent, a model citizen, in a world of your own_

_All your feelings dreams and thoughts were disciplined_

_Now you're curious, you want experience_

_You taste the flavor the thrill and for one fine moment be so free_

_In 30 seconds you'll be checking in emergency,_

_You'll see, guilty ridden, self addicted_

_Once it starts it starts_

_I'll pay the penalty, nothing good can come for free,_

_I'll spend a lifetime alone, just to know what makes me feel, so real_

_Half alive still we drive,_

_Arriving on one wheel, I will, push the button, gimme something_

_Once it starts it starts_

Emma took off the headphones and sighed. She walked towards the CD section and searched for the S's. She found them and grabbed Supergarge's Elvis Was Bigger Than The Beatles CD. She walked to the front of the store and to the counter. She looked behind the counter and saw a disc man.

A worker walked behind the counter, "How can I help you today?"

"I'll take this," Emma put the CD on the counter, "And that disc man."

"Which color?"

"Um...Purple."

The worker scanned the items, "That'll be $40."

Emma handed him the money, "Are batteries included?"

"Yes they are."

"Thanks." Emma walked out of the store and to a bench. She took the disc man out of the bag and then out of the packaging. She put the batteries and plugged in the headphones. She took the CD out of the bad and unwrapped it from it's package. She put it in her new disc man. She turned it on.

_You ask for forgiveness, cause you had a quick change of heart_

_I'm all about business, I'm sorry to say you've been fired_

_Too Late, Tonite, You're wrong, I'm right_

_You're all explanations and I got no accusations on file_

_I make my decisions, I think that I'll leave here in style_

_Too late, Tonite, so long, goodbye._

The next song was about to start when she walked into someone. She pulled off her headphones and looked up at the person, "I am so sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

"It's ok."

Emma realized who it was, "Jay."

"Nice jacket."

Emma laughed, "Thanks."

"What were you listening to?"

"Supergarge."

"Good band."

Emma smiled slightly, "They remind me of someone."

Jay bit his bottom lip, "Well, uh. I should go."

Emma sighed, "Yeah, me too." Emma started to walk away.

"Wait, Em. Did you go to the cops?"

Emma nodded, "I did. I went that day."

"What did they say?"

"They can't get him on rape. Only for abuse."

"That's better than nothing."

"I guess."

"Be careful. How are you getting home?"

"Joey let me use a car."

"Didn't know you could drive."

"There's a lot of things we don't know about each other, Jay."

Jay sighed, "I'm going now, Emma."

"Bye, Jay."

They walked away from each other.

Same night, Emma's house

Emma sat alone in her living room, watching T.V. Manny called her after she left the mall. Craig and her were staying at some cheap motel to have some alone time. A paranoid Emma locked all the windows and doors to the house. She flipped through the channels, trying to find something to watch. Nothing looked interesting. She got up and walked to the kitchen. She put some popcorn in the microwave. She sat on the counter waiting for it to finish.

Two weeks ago, she was at a hotel with Jay. She almost got raped that night, too. Not as close as it once the other night, though. Jay saved her from those guys. Jay saved her from Jeff. Emma heard the microwave go beep and she jumped off the counter to take it out. She grabbed a bowl and carefully dumped the contents of the popcorn bag into it. She walked back to the couch. She kept flipping through the channels, and eating her popcorn. Still not able to find anything to watch, she put her shoes on and left.

Emma climbed into the car Joey let her borrow until her parents came home. It was a copper red Mazda MX-5 Miata. Joey told her it was only a year old. She loved it. She was planning on asking Joey if she could buy it, but pay in small payments.

Emma wasn't sure where she was going. She just wanted to get out of her house. She drove past the mall, past the school, past the park. She finally stopped. She was drove around in one giant circle just to get here. She was at the Ravine. She hadn't gone there since her and Jay's talk. She didn't even get out of the car now. She just sat there staring. Emma couldn't believe that the same place she helped clean, was the same place that held the old her. The Emma that cared about every living thing. The Emma that would have never got into the van with Jay Hogart. The Emma who would rather be skinned alive, than ever do the things she did in that van, with Jay.

Emma laughed to herself, "I am so in love with him."

Emma could feel her cell phone vibrating in her pocket, she pulled it out and looked to see who it was, _Sexy Lex_, flashed on the screen. She pushed talk, "Hey."

"_Emma! Where are you?"_

Emma sighed, "Driving around. What's wrong?"

"_It's Jay. I got a call...I guess he never changed his emergencies thing on his license when we broke up..."_

"Emergency?"

"_He was in a fight."_

"When isn't he?"

"_Jeff got a few of his friends after him. Jeff wouldn't tell his friends why. He only told his friends that Jay smashed the windows to the van, and that Jay interrupted his friends."_

"And?"

"_They found him. They hurt him pretty bad."_

"Where is he?"

"_Hospital. I'm in the waiting room."_

"Does he want me there?"

"_I'm sure he would."_

"I'll be there in 5 minutes."

Well its 9pm and you still haven't called me back  
And if I try again I think you'll feel like you under attack  
I dont think I can take it I dont think I can make it  
I just want this to go away

Trying to be someone that you know your not It gets harder everyday  
All the lonely days  
There's no one left to love  
You wish life would go away

Now its 2am and im pacing around on the floor  
I wait for you to come home but you never come walk through that door  
Now im trying to fake it I just cant seem to shake it  
I just want this to go away

Trying to be someone that you know your not  
It gets harder everyday  
All the lonely days  
There's no one left to love  
You wish life would go away  
You wish life would go away

I know one day ill get through this  
I know one day we'll be done  
I know one day ill find a way  
To see you

Now its 6am and I smashed all the you left behind  
I gotta throw this away these things that'll never be mine

Trying to be someone that you know your not  
It gets harder everyday  
All the lonely days  
There's no one left to love  
You wish life would go away

Trying to be someone that you know your not  
It gets harder everyday  
It gets harder everyday

**Song: Harder Everyday**

**Owned by: Ashlee Simpson**

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter took like 2 days. No clue why. Anyways, Supergarge is a good band. I found them through the Secret episode. Jay has it playing in his car when he and Emma are sitting in front of her house. First song is "Once It Starts It Starts", which is the song from the episode. Second is, shit I can't remember...Oh well.

The date for this story is now, Sunday Sept. 25, 2005. It's only like 1 a.m.

* * *

Possible Previews

_Emma cuts again. Manny and Craig break up. Alex dates Sean. Jay tells Emma how he feels._

* * *

**Poll: **How many of you picked up on the fact the Jay and Emma didn't use a condom while in the Janitor's closet? I'm leaving this up to you..."How many of you want Emma pregnant?" If more of you want her to be, I'm not promising a succesful pregnancy...if you catch my drift. I just don't want to put something in the story that you, the readers, won't like. Let me know in the reviews. I won't do the next chapter until I have at the least 6 reviews telling me what you all think should happen with that.


	11. SKin

The second song in chapter 10, is "Too Late".

Ok, I'm going to take this time to do like a cliff notes version of this story.

**Chapter One -** (_Flashback date is Tuesday 9/6/05. Actual date 9/9/05)_ Emma and Jay see each other at the mall. Make plans to hang out. Jay picks Emma up from school. They play a question game to learn more about each other. They decide to go visit Sean.

**Chapter Two - **_(Actual date 9/10/05)_They go to visit Sean, but decide it's too late. The get a hotel room. They drink. Emma gets harassed by 3 guys. Jay saves her. They share a passionate kiss.

**Chapter Three - **_(Actual date 9/10/05)_ They drive to Sean's. Not sure if they want to go to Sean's house after sitting out front for a while. About to kiss again, but Sean knocked on the window. They drive off somewhere with Sean.

**Chapter Four - **_(Actual date 9/10/05)_Sean wants to know what's going on between Emma and Jay. He gets in a fight with Emma. Jay and Emma leave. Sean decides he needs to be Emma's savior.

**Chapter Five - **_(Actual date 9/14/05)_Jay's avoiding Emma and is back at Degrassi. Alex and Emma are on good terms. Manny stays with Emma.

**Chapter Six - **_(Actual date 9/14/05)_Emma's parents go away. Craig, Manny, Emma and Jay go to the Dot. Sean is working there. Emma confronts Sean about the fight the had on the 10th.

**Chapter Seven - **_(Actual date, early morning,9/15/05)_Jay and Emma heat things up. Things sizzle out when Jay gets a conscience and leaves. Sean shows up. Emma and Sean are about to...you know. ((lol)) Jay walks in on them.Sean leaves. Emma and Jay have sex. After Jay becomes a total ass and leaves. Emma dresses up in Manny's clothes. Sean thinks she looks amazing.

**Chapter Eight - **_(Actual date 9/15/05)_Emma gets annoyed with Jay. Emma and Alex talk about Jay. Jay and Emma have sex in a closet at school.

**Chapter Nine -**_(Actual date 9/15/05)_Sean shows up at Emma's and tells her he saw Jay with Amy coming out of the van at the Ravine. Emma tells him to leave. Sean kissed Emma and Alex shows up. Sean leaves. Alex says she saw Jay and Amy at the mall together.Emma, Alex, Manny and Sean go to the Ravine. Jay walked over to them. Alex kissed Emma to help get Jay jealous. Emma and Jay get in a small fight. Sean gets involved. Emma gets fed up with their drama and leaves them. She finds a guy named Jeff. They went in to the van. She told him she didn't want to do anything. He wouldn't take no for answer. He slapped her, punched her and kicked her. Jay threw a rock through the window. Saved Emma. Alex and Sean beat him up. Jay helped her home. She asked him to stay. When she fell asleep, he whispered to her, "I think I love you, Em."

**Chapter Ten - **_(Actual date 9/16/05)_Emma wakes up alone in Jay's jacket. Emma has a fat lip, black eye, cut on her cheek and a big bruise on her side. She takes a shower and cuts herself. Craig found out about what happened. Emma skips her last classes after lunch. She goes to the Ravine to just think. Jay shows up. She tries to give him back his jacket after telling him they should stay away from each other. He tells her to keep and to give it back when she thinks they can be around each other again. _(Skips a week 9/24/05)_Emma's at the mall and she bumps in to Jay. They talk for a few minutes. They talked about the cops and what Emma told them. They both leave in separate directions. Later on, Emma drives around by herself. She realizes she loves him. Emma gets a call from Alex about Jay. He was beat up by Jeff's friends and is in the hospital.

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Eleven _

Skin

Emma sat in the waiting room. Alex left to go find a vending machine and some coffee. No one has come out to tell them what was going on. Alex told Emma that she was the one that found him. He was in an alley that she walks down to get home. She told Emma that Jay told her where to find his car, it was only up the street. She had ran to it, and drove it back down to him. Then she drove him to the hospital.

Emma got off the chair she was sitting on. She began to pace. She was nervous. He got beat up because of her. After her 2oth time around the waiting room area, a doctor walked in, "Are you here with Mr. Hogart."

"Yes."

"Were you the one who brought him here?"

"No. That was my friend, Alex. She's getting some coffee."

"Hmm...He wasn't asking for a Alex." The doctor stated.

"Who is he looking for?" Emma asked curiously.

"Emma Nelson."

Emma smiled lightly, "That's me."

"Follow me then." The doctor led her through big doors and then to another door, which he didn't open. "He'll be alright. He has a cracked rib and a sprained hand. He has a few cuts here and there. He had to get stitches on his forehead."

Emma sighed, "Can I see him?"

The doctor nodded and she opened the door. She walked in and saw Jay laying in the bed. She walked over to him, "Jay?"

His eyes slowly opened, "Nelson. Hey."

Emma smiled and pulled a chair next to his bed, "How you doing?"

He laughed softly, "Better than I look."

"Alex is here. She's getting coffee somewhere."

"I know. She's the one who brought me here."

"Why did Jeff's friends do this?"

"Jeff lied. Changed the story. Alex talked to Sean in the car on the way here. Sean found them and told them what really happened that night. All of them feel bad. They said they would help if anything else happens."

"What else would happen?"

Jay closed his eyes, "Really want to know?"

"Yeah."

Jay opened his eyes again and looked at her, "Jeff was planning on finding you after he got out. It's not happening now though."

Emma smiled, "You are such the protector."

"I try." They were both silent, "So much for us staying away."

Emma laughed softly, "Maybe we're not meant to be away from each other. Something is always going to bring us together."

"Yeah." Jay looked her up and down, "Do you live in my jacket now?"

Emma laughed and nodded, "Uh huh. It's so comfortable."

"Looks better on you."

Emma stood up and took it off. She walked over to Jay, "I think you should have it back now."

Jay smiled, "Thanks. You know, I've been thinking..."

"And the world hasn't stopped?" Emma joked.

"Funny. But seriously. I've been thinking. I think we should be together."

"I don't think that. I know that."

"I don't know what happened. I don't know how I let myself act the way I did."

"Well, make it up to me."

School Monday, October 10, 2005

Emma and Jay were finally together. He was released from the hospital on the 29th, and they've been in separable ever since. Emma's parents came home last night and dropped a huge bomb.

_Flashback_

_Emma's sitting on her couch, waiting for her parents to tell her whatever it is they've been trying to tell her for the past 20 minutes, "Are you guys going to tell me or just sit there?"_

_Spike sighed, "Well, Dad's father has decided he wants to go to a retirement home now that his wife has passed."_

"_That's it?"_

_Snake looked at Spike and then to Emma, "No. He's leaving us the house. It's bigger and in a better city."_

_Emma was confused, "Ok. So, how are you guys going to avoid two houses?"_

_Spike looked at her, "We're not."_

"_Ok. I'm confused."_

"_We're moving, Em."_

_Emma jumped up, "What! We can't! I don't want to move. Things are finally going right. What about Manny? That's not fair to her after you said she could stay with us!"_

_Snake sighed, "She'll move with us if she wants."_

_Emma laughed, "Oh, so she gets a choice but I don't?"_

_Spike stood up, "You're under 18, so no you don't."_

"_Manny's under 18."_

"_Her circumstances are different."_

_Emma rolled her eyes, "I won't move. I'll stay here."_

_Snake laughed, "And live where? On the streets?"_

_Emma smiled, "With Jay. I'll get a job and then get my own apartment."_

_Spike looked like she was about to explode, "You will not live with him!" _

"_Why, mom?"_

"_Don't you remember what happened at the end of the school year last year, Em?" Snake asked._

"_Oh, come on. He's clean now. So, am I. Besides, we've already had sex." _

_Spike almost fell backwards, "WHAT!"_

"_At least I wait until I was in grade eleven."_

_Spike walked in front of Emma and slapped her, "Get your stuff, and get out."_

"_Fine." Emma left her parents and walked to her room. She packed all of her clothes and important stuff. She grabbed her car keys and walked out of her house. She put her stuff in to her car. (Joey told her she could keep the car, free of charge, an early birthday present). She got in and pulled out her cell phone. She quickly called Jay._

"_**Hello?"**_

"_Thank god you answered. I got kicked out."_

"_**What? Why?"**_

"_My parents told me that we're moving. Well, that they're moving. I told them I wouldn't go. They asked where I would go, and I said I would stay with you until I got my own place. My mom flipped. I let it slip that we were already having sex. She got mad. I insulted her and she slapped me. She told me to get my stuff and leave." Emma started the car, and pulled away from her parent's house._

"_**And what would happen if you couldn't stay here?"**_

"_I would be sleeping in my car."_

_**Jay sighed, "Come over."**_

_Emma smiled, "Thanks, hun. Be there in a few."_

_End Flashback_

Emma stood in front of her locker. It was lunch time and she was waiting for Manny. She really hadn't talked to Manny yet. She need to fill her in on what happened last night. She had stayed over Craig's house to help watch Angela. After Emma got to Jay's she asked if Manny could stay, too. He said yeah, but they would all have to share a room. Which, Emma agreed to after seeing Jay's bedroom. It was fully furnished. It also had a pull out couch. Emma spotted Manny walked towards her, "Hey, Manny."

"Ok, what happened?"

"My parents are moving. I told them I wouldn't go. Let slip that Jay and me are having sex. Insulted my mom about her losing her virginity younger than me. Got slapped and then kicked out. Now, I'm staying with Jay and you can, too. Unless you want to move with my parents."

Manny laughed, "No. I want to stay here. My friends are here."

"Good. Have Craig go with you after school to get your stuff. You can take Jay's car. I don't want you to take mine in case they try to take it away or something."

"Alright, sounds good. I gotta go meet Craig. I'll see you at Jay's."

"Bye."

Jay's house

Emma sat on Jay's front porch, with Jay, waiting for Manny and Craig. Jay had his arm around Emma and she was leaning in to him. A few minutes later, Manny and Craig pulled up. Manny looked annoyed. She got out of the car and over to Jay and Emma.

"Holy shit, Emma! They are demented. They were acting like I was 5 years old and their daughter. They kept trying to convince me to go with them!"

Emma laughed, "Probably thinking that if you went, I would."

Manny sighed, "Yeah. But still. I wanted to kick them both."

Craig laughed, "It was funny. I was sitting in the basement waiting for her to come and pack. I was listening the whole time."

Jay rolled his eyes, "Come on, Manning, let's get Manny's stuff in the house."

Jay and Craig walked to the car and began to unpack it. Emma and Manny went in the house and Emma showed Manny around.

"Nice place, but what about his parents?" Manny asked.

"He lives with his dad. I guess he's never around and doesn't care if people are here."

"Cool. Works out for us."

"Yes it does."

"So, I'm guessing you and Jay are sharing a bed? And I get the couch?"

Emma smiled, "Or, me and you can get the bed and we can kicked Jay to couch."

Jay walked behind Emma and wrapped his arms around her, "Don't even think about it."

Manny and Emma laughed.

Craig came in with a bag, "That's the rest of it."

Manny sighed, "Great. Now I have to unpack."

_I drift away to a place  
Another kind of life  
Take away the painI create my paradise _

Everything I've held  
Has hit the wall  
What used to be yoursIsn't yours at all

Falling apart, and all that I'm asking  
Is it a crime, am I overreacting

Oh, he's under my skin  
Just give me something to get rid of himI've got a reason now to bury this alive  
Another little white lie

So what you had didn't fit  
Among the pretty things  
Never fear, never fear  
I now know where you've been  
Braids have been un-tied  
As ribbons fall away  
Leave the consequence  
But my tears you'll taste

Falling apart and all that I question  
Is this a dream or is this my lesson

Oh, he's under my skin  
Just give me something to get rid of him  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive  
Another little white lie

I don't believe I'll be alright  
I don't believe I'll be OK  
I don't believe how you've thrown me away  
I do believe you didn't try  
I do blame you for every lie  
When I look in your eyes, I don't see mine

Oh, he's under my skin  
Just give me something to get rid of him  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive  
Another little white lie

Oh my permission to sin  
You might have started my reckoning  
I've got a reason now to bury him alive  
Another little white lie

**Song: Skin**

**Owned by: Alexz Johnson

* * *

**

Gotta say that I really don't like this chapter. I'm out of ideas...Well, not totally out of ideas. It's just finding the right time to put them in the story and thinking of stuff to fill the in-between drama chapters. 


	12. Numb

Ok. I hated the last chapter. I'm going to be fixing what I think should be fixed in the chapter. Ok? Ok. Let's get to it.

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Twelve_

Numb

Friday, October 14, 2005

Emma sat in front of her stepfather's desk in his class room. He had asked her to meet him there after school. She didn't want to, but Jay convinced her. Her was finishing up some papers and when he was done, he looked up at her.

He sighed, "We're moving today."

Emma nodded, "I know."

"But, there's a small change in plans."

Emma raised in eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

He smiled slightly, "It turns out, my mother had quite the life insurance plan. Since, my father isn't going to be paying a lot of bills, he gave it to us. There's not enough to say we're rich. There's just enough to pay off both houses and enough for future bills. Your mother and I think, that you and Manny should move back home. We will come back on the weekends, to make sure everything is ok. When you both graduate, and are sure what you want to do with your life, we will either sell, or you both can pay the bills."

Emma sighed, "I was kicked out, remember."

"Your mother is sorry for hitting you. You hurt her, and she wasn't thinking."

"I'll move back. Under one condition."

He nodded, "And that is?"

"You both have to accept that I'm with Jay."

"That may take a little while. But we will try."

"Ok. I'll go to Jay's and pack my things. I'll go there tomorrow."

"Good. We'll call to check up."

"Bye dad."

Emma left the school and drove to Jay's. She pulled in the driveway and walked up the steps. She opened the door and walked to his room. She could hear laughter. Girl laughter. When she reached the door, she hesitated, then pushed it open. Jay was there. With someone else. He jumped away from the girl, "Emma."

Emma stared at him and then looked at the girl, "Leave."

The girl laughed, "It's not your house."

"No. But that is my boyfriend."

The girl just stood there, half naked. Jay wasn't sure what to do. He was drunk and he wasn't thinking clearly. He was just standing there, in his boxers, looking at Emma and then to this girl, "Em, this is Jessica."

Emma rolled her eyes, "I don't care, Jay. You know what, I'm just going to get my stuff and go. I'm moving back in to my parent's house." She grabbed her bags out of the closet and threw everything she had there in to them. Before walking out of the room she walked over to Jessica and punched her in the face. Then, she left. She put everything in her car and drove off. She could hear Jay yelling after her, but she refused to stop. First, she drove to Craig's to tell Manny. She walked up the front steps and rang the bell. Craig answered, "Hey, Em."

"Hey. Manny here?"

"Yep. Manny it's Em."

Manny walked over to them. She could tell Emma was upset, "What's wrong?"

Emma sighed and tears started to fall from her eyes, "I just walked in on Jay doing god knows what with another girl. My parents aren't selling our house, but are moving. We can stay there if we want. I don't have a choice now. I'm going over there now. No offense, but I would like to be alone. I'll see you later." Before Manny could say anything, Emma ran to her car and drove off.

Emma's house, Later that night

After she left Craig's she drove around. Waiting for her parents to be gone. A few hours later, she pulled up and they were gone. She walked in to the house and it was almost empty. The couch was there, a few shelves. Emma noticed they had brought up her TV, stereo, DVD player and VCR up to the living room. She walked upstairs and all of her furniture was in her parent's old room. The spare furniture they left was in Jack's room for Manny. She unpacked her stuff and went down to the living room. She put on the TV but nothing was on. Her cell phone rang. She picked it up and looked at the screen. It was Jay, calling for the 100th time. She picked it up because she was bored and wanted to hear the excuse he came up with this time.

She hit the answer button and sighed, "Hello?"

"Emma please forgive me? I was drunk. Really drunk. I don't know why I let it happen."

Emma laughed, "I know why. Because you are a liar and a cheater. You're never going to change. Goodbye Hogart." She hung up the phone and threw it on the floor. She locked her front door and walked to her new room. She grabbed the bag that she didn't unpack yet and walked to the bathroom. She dumped everything out on to the counter. She put her shampoo and everything away. She felt around the back and her hand landed on something. She pulled it out, it was the blade she broke off of her razor. She placed it on the side of the tub and turned on the shower. She got undressed and climbed in to the shower. She washed her hair and her body. Then, she turned the shower head off, and let the faucet take off. She sat on the shower floor, Indian style. She reached over and picked up the small blade. She looked at it and sighed, "My new friend."

This time she didn't care. She held out her arm and put the blade to her skin. She closed her eyes, and pulled it hard across her skin. A few tears fell from her eyes as the blood made it's way through the opening. She repeated herself, this time not as deep. She kept dragging the blade across her skin. Not stopping until she counted to 15. She wasn't sure why 15 stood out in her mind the most. Maybe, because that's when her perfect life was shattered. She dropped the blade and it drifted to the drain, just like it did before. She watched the blood drain out of her body, and blend with the water. She tilted her head and leaned it against the shower wall. A few minutes later, she turned off the faucet and got out. She dried her arms first. Making sure they stopped bleeding. She wrapped a towel around herself and left the bathroom. She went to her room and got changed, putting on a long sleeve shit.

She walked back down to the living, feeling better. She checked her cell phone, 10 missed calls. All were from Jay. She checked her voice mail. They were all the same, "Please Emma! I'm so sorry! I love you." Except the last one, "I'm coming over Emma. We need to talk about this." She hit delete and her doorbell rang. She slowly got up and made her way to the door, she peaked through the window. It was Jay.

He rang the bell again.

She yelled through the door, "Go away asshole!"

"Emma! Please let me come in. I'm sorry. Let me explain."

She sighed and opened the door. Letting him in. She walked back over to the couch, ignoring him.

"Emma, listen. Jessica is an old friend. We ran in to each other after school. She came over. We drank. She started to kiss me and on thing led to another..."

She turned to look at him, "Save it, Jay. I don't want to hear it. You cheated on me! You are never going to change."

A few tears fell from his eyes, "I have changed, Em. I have. You know I have."

She turned away from him, "Didn't you do this to Alex?"

"No. I was sober most of the time."

"Sober or not. It's not right. I thought you loved me. I thought you wanted to be with me. But, once again, I was wrong."

"I do love you. I love you so much." He grabbed her arms lightly, "Please, just forgive me."

She winced in pain and pulled away her arms, "No."

Jay looked at her, "Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head.

"Then why did you make a face like I did."

"I don't know what you're talking about. You should go." Emma folded her arms across her chest. Not noticing blood was coming through on the spot where Jay had grabbed her.

He looked in her eyes and could tell she was hiding something. He looked down at her arms, "Em, why is there blood on your shit? Kill someone?"

She shot him a dirty look, "No."

"Well, then why?"

"Not your business."

Jay bit his lip and started to get worried, "Show me your arms, Em."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Bullshit."

She sighed, "Just go Jay."

He grabbed her right arm and pulled back the sleeve. Tears started to fall from her eyes, "Em..what...why?"

She let the tears fall. She couldn't hold them back, "Because Jay. Because no one is capable of truly loving me."

"That's stupid, Em. And you know it. So many people love you."

"Just go Jay."

"No. I won't."

She stood up and pushed him, "I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!"

"Emma stop it."

"Get out of my house!" She tried to push him again but he grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her.

She fell to the ground, and he leaned next to her, "It's gonna be ok, baby. It's gonna be ok. I'm here, ok? I love you. I'm so sorry." He tried to soothe here. A few minutes later he realized she was asleep. He picked her up and carried her to the basement, not knowing it wasn't her room anymore. He walked back up the steps, and over to the upstairs stairs. He pushed open Jack's door, but it had none of her stuff. So, he walked to her parent's old room, and walked over to the bed. He laid her down and walked to the bathroom. He came back with a first aid kit. He cleaned her cuts and bandaged them up. When he was done he laid down next to her, wrapping her in his arms.

_I saw you cry today _

_The pain may fill you _

_I saw you shy away _

_The pain will not kill you _

_You made me smile today _

_You spoke with many voices _

_We travelled miles today _

_Shared expressions voiceless _

_It has to end _

_Living in your head _

_Without anything to numb you _

_Living on the edge _

_Without anything to numb you _

_It has to end to begin _

_Began an end today _

_Gave and got given _

_You made a friend today _

_Kindred soul cracked spirit _

_It has to end to begin _

_Living in your head _

_Without anything to numb you _

_Living on the edge _

_Without anything to numb you _

_It had to end to begin _

_Living in your head _

_Without anything to numb you _

_Living on the edge _

_Without anything to numb you _

_Living in your head _

_Without anything to numb you _

_Living on the edge _

_Without anything to numb you _

_it has begun_

**Song: Numb**

**Owned by: Sia**


	13. Eyes Wide Open

**Yes, I do love Ashlee Simpson's songs. They're good. If anyone has any good Jemma songs, tell me the name and artist. I'll check them out. :)**

**This is a small chapter. I was going to add more, but instead I'll post it and start on another chapter. Enjoy **

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Thirteen_

Eyes Wide Open

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Emma woke up early the next morning. When she opened her eyes, she was confused. She didn't know how she got to her room. Then she remembered, Jay had come over. He saw the cuts. She sat up quickly and laying next to her in bed, was Jay. Sound asleep. She quietly got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. She pulled up her sleeves and noticed everything was cleaned and bandaged up. She sighed, 'Jay must have done it after I feel asleep.' She walked out of the bathroom and back to her room. Jay was awake now, sitting up against the headboard.

"Hi." She said as she got back in bed.

Jay sighed, "Don't hi me like nothing's wrong, Em."

"There's nothing wrong."

"So, you just cut the hell out of your arms for no reason?"

Emma let out a small laugh, "So, you were just in your room, almost naked with an almost naked girl for no reason?"

"Em, that has nothing to do with this."

"No, Jay. It has everything to do with it! You caused my pain. I caught you cheating on me! My release was watching my body bleed."

"It's not healthy. It's not even helping you deal with all the shit that goes in your head. If you keep avoiding things, they won't go away, they'll just get worse. Cutting yourself won't solve your problems."

"My problem, is you."

"And your parents moving, getting kicked out, then being allowed to leave here, on your own, with Manny. Getting followed by 3 guys. Getting beat up and almost raped in a van."

Emma laughed, "Where were you when I first started this, huh?" She yelled at him, getting out of bed.

"This wasn't the first time?"

"No. The first time was the morning after Jeff tried to rape me. I woke up and you were gone. I had to deal somehow. So, I cut." She pulled up her pant leg past her thigh. She was showing him her cuts that have recently turned to scars.

"Emma...promise me you'll stop."

"Promise me, you'll be there."

"I promise you Em. Whenever you need me, I'll be there."

She sighed, "I promise I won't do it again."

"Good. Now come here."

She shook her head, "No way. We still have to talk about what happened with _Jessica_."

"It was a big mistake. We were drunk. She came on to me. I didn't stop her. Then you came before anything else happened."

"Good thing I came by then."

"Yeah."

"Don't let it happen again. I know I'm going to be slapping myself if this happens again and I know I shouldn't forgive you. But, I love you and that's enough."

"I love you, too."

"Now, can we be together without anything happened?"

"I hope so."

Emma got back in the bed and laid down next to Jay.

_I could hear her breathing  
No one believed me  
No one believed me  
I could hear those voices  
So decieving  
So decieving _

Cool wind on my face  
Cool wind on my face

Do you know how it feels to be afraid  
Lying there frozen  
With my eyes wide open  
Do you know how it feels to find a trace  
Of words unspoken  
With my eyes wide open  
I know your secret  
I can feel you calling  
I know that you're there I know that you're there  
Tell me all your memories  
I'll keep them alive I'll keep them alive  
Cool wind on my face  
Cool wind on my face

I heard youI felt you  
I know so what do you want from me

Cool wind on my face  
Cool wind on my face  
Cool wind on my face  
Cool wind on my face

**Song: Eyes Wide Open**

**Owned by: Ashlee Simpson**


	14. Walk On By

**Ok, this chapter centers mainly on Manny and a little of Craig.**

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Fourteen_

Walk On By

Monday, October 17, 2005

Manny sat on the front steps of Degrassi. It was after school and she was waiting for Craig. Emma and Jay had already left and were heading back to the house. They took Jay's car and Emma let Manny borrow hers. Craig left her a note on her locker, saying he had to talk to her right away. She didn't see him at all today. It was like he was avoiding her. She sighed and then she saw him walking towards here, with someone else following behind.

She stood up and went to hug him. He quickly hugged her and then looked at the person who was with him, "Ash, can you give us a minute?"

Ashley smiled, "Of course. Bye Manny."

Manny put on a fake smile, "Bye."

Craig watched Ashley walked across the street and sit at a picnic bench. He turned his attention to Manny, "Ashley came back later last night."

"Yeah, I can see that."

"She dumped that guy she met."

Manny raise an eyebrow, "And?"

"She said she made a mistake about staying in London. So, she took the first flight back to Canada she could get."

Manny looked away from Craig, "Let me guess, then she said she still loved you and couldn't be without you."

Craig laughed lightly, "Not exactly in the words."

Manny sighed, "You're breaking up with me. Aren't you?"

Craig slowly nodded, "This just this thing with feeling I get with her..."

Manny started to cry, "Save it, Craig. I don't want to hear it. Ever. Don't expect me to be waiting for you when you get fed up with her constant questions about your meds. I won't be there. Not again."

Craig sighed, "I'm sorry, Manny. I want to be frie-"

Manny laughed, "Don't even finish that sentence. We were never friends. We were always something more. I can't be you friend when you're with her. She wouldn't even allow it." Manny picked up her bag and walked to Emma's car. She got in and drove away.

When she pulled up to the house, Jay and Emma were sitting out front. Manny got out and walked over to them, "He dumped me."

Emma stood up, "What? Why?"

"Ashley came back. So, of course, he went back to her."

Jay rolled his eyes, "What an asshole. Want me to kick his ass for you? I will."

Manny smiled and laughed, "No. It's ok. But, you can kick Ashley's if you want."

Jay shrugged, "I would, but I don't hit girls."

Emma began to jump up and down, "I'll do it! I hit girls!"

Manny laughed again, "Thanks for making me laugh , guys. I just need to sit in front of a TV and veg."

Emma nodded, "Ok. Well, I'll be here if you need me."

Manny walked into the house and up the stairs to her room. She closed the door and took of her jacket. She opened her mini fridge, that she had thanks of Jay and his 10 finger discount. She pulled out some ice cream and turned on the TV. She sat on her bean bag chair and began to flip through the channels and eat her ice cream.

A few hours later, she had fallen asleep with an almost empty ice cream container. When she woke up, it was time for school.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Manny got ready for school and then headed downstairs. Emma left her a note.

_Manny,_

_I didn't want to wake you before I left. I wasn't sure if you wanted to go to school or not. If you don't, I'll be sure to accidently bump Ashley in to something hard. Well, either way, I'll still do it. LOL. If you do decide to go, feel free to take my car. Jay's picking me up, so I don't need it. After school, we go shopping! Alright? Love ya hun!_

_-Emma_

Manny put the note down. She grabbed Emma's keys and headed out the door. She got in the car and drove to school. When she pulled up, Ashley and Craig were sitting on the steps making googly eyes at each other. She rolled her eyes and got out. She spotted Emma and Jay sitting at a picnic table and walked towards them. "Hey guys."

Emma smile, "Glad you decided to come."

Jay nodded, "Yes. Now you can help us make fun of the two love birds."

Manny laughed and looked towards Craig and Ashley. They were now kissing, "It looks like she's swallowing his face."

Emma laughed, "Yeah it does."

Jay put his hands to his face and was making kissing noises, "Oh baby, do you need any salt for my face?"

Manny sat down and shook her head at Jay, "We could just ignore them."

Emma sighed, "Sorry. We thought making fun of them would help."

Manny shrugged, "Nah. Let's talk about how you two are suddenly back together."

Jay stood up, "Ok. I need to go talk to Mr. Ehl. I'll see you guys later." He kissed Emma on the head and waved bye to Manny.

Emma sighed, "Well, he came over after I went to Craig's. I started yelling. And...well, don't get mad at me, I won't do it again. But, I cut. And Jay saw. Blah, blah. I fell asleep. Woke up, he apologized."

Manny looked at Emma with a sad face, "Hun. You cut?"

"Yeah."

Manny took Emma's hand and gave it a light slap, "Now times that by 100 and that's what will happen if you do it again."

Emma laughed, "Yes, mother."

"I'm serious."

"I know."

"Good. Well, I gotta get to class."

Emma smiled, "Alright. I'll see you there."

Manny walked in to the school. She went to her locker and took out the books she needed. She headed to her class and sat down, "I'm early." She flipped open her notebook and it stopped on a page she had doodled on. Written all over the page was little hearts with her and Craig's names. She sighed and a tear dropped from her eye. She ripped out the paper and walked to the trash at the front of the room. She turned around to head back to her seat when she saw Craig standing in front of the door with his back facing her. She let more tears fall and just watched him. She loved him and she knew he loved her. Yet, he dumped her so easily. She sighed, 'Maybe there's more to it...'

She walked back to her seat and sat down. She stopped her tears and shook her thoughts of Craig when students began to file in to the room.

_I'm coming down with a heartache tonight _

_Only you can make it all right _

_If I can be with you holding you tight _

_There won't be no more in my life _

_Every where I turn _

_I see your face _

_Reminding me of a higher place _

_Every time you smile _

_Angels cry _

_Every time you walk on by _

_I'm not the only _

_Feeling lonely _

_Every time you walk on by _

_I try to say something _

_But end up with nothing _

_Every time you walk on by_

_(Every time you walk on by) _

_I keep my cool I pretend I'm not here _

_Every time you come too near _

_I'm such a fool 'cause, this love is true and _

_If I don't tell you someone else surely will _

_Every where I turn _

_I see your face _

_Reminding me of a higher place _

_Every time you smile _

_Angels cry _

_Every time you walk on by _

_I'm not the only _

_Feeling lonely _

_Every time you walk on by _

_I try to say something _

_But end up with nothing _

_Every time you walk on by_

_(Feeling lonely) _

_If I ever see you again _

_This craziness must find an end _

_I look at you_

_I promise myself_

_I'm not the only_

_Feeling lonely_

_Every time you walk on by_

_I try to say something _

_But end up with nothing _

_Every time you walk on by _

_I'm not the only _

_Feeling lonely _

_Every time you walk on by_

_I try to say something _

_But end up with nothing _

_Every time you walk on by _

_Every time you walk on by _

**Song: Walk On By**

**Owned by: Britney Spears**


	15. Making Love To The Camera

**WARNING THIS IS A SLASH CHAPTER! VERY GRAPHIC LESBIAN SEX SCENE!**

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Fifteen_

Making Love To The Camera

Saturday, October 29, 2005 - Emma's house

Emma sat in her room getting ready for the Halloween Costume party that her and Manny planned. Manny and Craig were still broken up. Jay and Emma were still together. Sean was still around and hung out with them on the weekends, same with Alex. Emma finished her make up and looked in the mirror. She smiled and fake vampire fangs were revealed. She was dressed as Selene from Underworld, and Jay was going to be dressed as Michael in human form. Manny walked in, wearing her devil costume that she fixed to look sexier.

"Wow, Em. You look great. Black vinyl suits you."

Emma laughed, "Love what you did the costume, but wouldn't it have been cheaper to buy lingerie?"

Manny shrugged, "Maybe. When is Jay, Alex and Sean coming?"

"Should be here any minute."

They walked down stairs and set up the chips and drinks. They heard the door open, and it was Jay with Sean and Alex. Sean was dressed as Vanilla Ice, which was Jay's idea. Alex was wearing a very revealing witch costume. Emma looked at her, "Damn, Lex. You look hot."

Alex laughed, "Hold your girlfriend back, Hogart. Don't want her kissing me again."

Emma playfully pushed Alex, "Yeah, ok. It was so you who kissed me."

Jay smirked, "Either way, I want in."

Alex and Emma both rolled their eyes at Jay and walked over to the stereo turning up the music.

A few hours later, the house was full of people dressed up. Emma lost track of Jay a while ago, and she was getting pretty drunk. A very high and drunken Alex walked up next to her, "Hey, Em. This good is look on you."

Emma laughed, "You mean this look is good on me?"

Alex nodded, "Yeah...I have to tell you something. Can we go somewhere?"

"Yeah. Let's go to the basement." Emma walked down to the basement, followed by Alex. Emma could hear giggling coming from the bathroom but ignored it. She turned her attention to Alex, "Ok, what's up?"

Alex sighed and pulled up the side of her costume because it was falling. She gave Emma a drunken smile, "You should take this." She handed Emma a white pill.

"What is it?"

"E. X. Happy pill. Ecstacy. Call it whatever."

Emma nodded and looked at it, "Always gotta try something new." She put it in her mouth and dry swallowed it.

Alex sat on the couch that Jay had carried down a week ago. There were always tons of posters covering every inch of wall and black lights. Alex laughed, "This room is so...wow."

Emma laughed and sat next to her, "Jay and me did it."

Alex sighed, "So, you guys are pretty tight now?"

Emma nodded, "Yep."

"That's cool."

Emma smiled, "Yeah."

About 30 minutes later Emma understood the way Alex was staring around the room. She put a hand on Alex's leg, "This, is just...great. You're great. Everything is great."

Alex laughed and gave her a kiss on the lips. Emma looked at her at first, confused. Then leaned her head in and kissed her. Alex pushed her down on to the couch and laid on top of her. Alex's costume was riding up and her fishnet covered legs were showing, as well as her thong. Emma put her hand on her ass and squeezed it. Alex rubbed her hands all over Emma's vinyl covered breasts. Emma picked her head and wrapped an arm around Alex's neck. She pulled her closer and kissed her. Alex found the front zipper of Emma's costume and unzipped it. Emma breast were let out of their tight prison. Alex smiled and began to kiss Emma's neck. Emma moaned lightly and pulled up Alex's costume more.

Alex was giving Emma a hickey, and then another one. Alex looked in to Emma's eyes, "You feel so fucking good."

Emma laughed and playfully pushed Alex off her on to the other side of the couch. Emma pulled Alex's legs so that she was flat on her back. Emma lick her lips and laid on top her. She began kissing her again and let a hand move down to Alex's thigh. She slowly moved her hand up her thigh and her hand reached her thong. She moved her thumb around, massaging her clit. Alex let out a moan in to Emma's mouth. Alex brought her hands up to Emma's shoulders and pulled her arms out of her costume. Emma costume now only covered half of her body. Alex moaned more as Emma's and went faster. Emma let a finger slip inside of Alex. Making Alex tremble a little. Alex broke the kiss and looked down at Emma's chest. She shifted down a little so she could reach Emma's breasts. She put her lips to top of left breast that her bra wasn't covering. She slowly slid her tongue out of her mouth and moved it underneath Emma's bra. She moved her tongue more, exploring everything hidden under the bra. She finally reached Emma's nipple, causing Emma's hand to move even faster.

Before Emma realized what she was doing she was kneeled down on the floor, with Alex sitting slouched on the couch with her legs open. Emma was pulled over Alex's knee high fishnets. She pulled Alex closer to the edge and left the thong on her. She kissed her inner thigh and nibble lightly. She kept finger inside of her, moving in and out very slowly. Her thumb was making circles around her clit. Emma slowly slit off the thong. She opened Alex's legs wider and kissed her pubic bone. She stuck out her tongue and traced her hip bones and then made it Alex's pussy. Emma licked everywhere she could. She kept pulling her finger in and out of Alex, trying to make her orgasm. Emma began to suck on Alex's clit. While it was in her mouth, she wrapped her tongue around it. Alex let out a loud moan and grabbed Emma's hair. Emma smiled and kept doing what she was doing.

A few minutes later, Alex's moans filled the basement. She grabbed a pillow and put it over her mouth. She had one hand on Emma's head, pulling her hair. She began to orgasm and her legs tightened. Her breathing began to slow down and Alex dropped the pillow. Emma got up and smiled at her, "Hi."

Alex smiled and kissed her, "That was good."

"Thanks."

"Are you rolling?"

Emma nodded.

"Was that your first time going down on a girl?"

Emma nodded again.

"As a girl ever gone down on you?"

Emma shook her head.

Alex bit her lip and stood up. She grabbed the sleeves of Emma's costume and pulled them down. Emma was just wearing her bra and thong. Alex pushed her down on to the couch and unhooked Emma's bra. Alex smiled and began to suck on her nipples. She moved her down, just like Emma had down to her, and slit a finger in under the thong's fabric. Emma moved her hips up and down, wanting more. Alex stopped and looked at Emma, "What do you want?"

Emma bit her lip, "You."

Alex moved her body down and didn't even bother teasing her. Emma was already wet because of Alex. Alex moved two fingers in and out of her and licked Emma's clit. It didn't take long to get her to orgasm. Emma's back arched and she moaned, "Oh my god, Alex!" Alex wrapped her arms around Emma's legs and pulled her closer, licking faster. Emma's hips began to move faster. Alex felt Emma tighten around her fingers. Emma moaned her name again and let her orgasm take control.

Emma laid there on the couch and Alex sat by her legs. Emma was only wearing her thong and Alex only had her costume on. They heard laughter and the bathroom opened.

Emma jumped up. So did Alex. It was Jay with...

_This is the distance between point A and point B  
Thus a completion meeting the goal we've achieved  
And it's the best thing to ever enter my life  
After all this time, I'm still taken by surprise  
Every time that a stranger calls my name  
For a picture to take, if it happens every day _

Will there be a picture left to snap,  
or will my face just detach itself,  
and get caught up in the public eye?  
Let it take mine

It feels just like  
It feels just like making love to the camera  
It feels just like  
It feels just like making love, making love

If what goes on here doesn't stay in this room  
We're gonna spread the words to leaving room to grow  
And if we blossom as high as northwestern trees  
I swear I'll still be the same as I was as a seed

And if these branches hold a leaf  
They'll hold convictions  
I believe  
This is the beginning of something  
Too strong to break now

It feels just like  
It feels just like making love to the camera  
It feels just like  
It feels just like making love, making love

It felt just like  
It felt just like making love to the camera  
It felt just like  
It felt just like making love, making love

**Song: Making Love To The Camera**

**Owned by: The Starting Line**


	16. Autumn Goodbye

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Sixteen_

Autumn Goodbye

Continued...

Emma's jaw dropped when she saw Jay walk out of the bathroom. He was with Ellie. Alex just stood there, not moving. Emma blinked, thinking that she was just seeing things. She put a hand to her head and whispered, "What the hell am I seeing?" Ellie was wearing a skimpy outfit, very unher. Jay's costume was all messed up. Emma laughed and blinked a few times. She didn't know what to say. Jay took a few steps away from Ellie.

"Em...I'm sorry..." He finally noticed the Emma was pretty much naked, "Wait...What the hell is going on here?"

Alex laughed and fell over. Emma tried to hold in her laughter, "Well, I just went down on Alex. And then she went down on me. What were you and Ellie doing?"

Ellie turned her head and ignored everyone. Jay sighed, "Talking."

Emma laughed, "Bull shit."

"And you expect me to believe that you just fooled around with Alex?"

Emma nodded, "Well, it's the truth."

"What are you on, Em?"

Emma giggled, "I love vitamin E."

Jay walked over to Alex and pulled her up, "Why the hell did you give her E, Lex?"

Alex laughed, "I now know why you cheated on me with her, she's damn good with her tongue."

Jay let go of Alex and let out an aggravated sigh. He turned back to Emma, "First, you cut yourself...Now you're taking drugs and fooling around with chicks?"

Ellie was trying to sneak up the stairs but Emma grabbed her arm, "Come on, El. We have something in common now. We can be the best of friends." Emma held out her arms, "Show me yours."

Ellie rolled her eyes and tried to keep walking away from Emma, "I don't do that anymore, Emma."

Emma giggled, "I'm sure you don't."

Jay walked over to Emma and pulled her hand off of Ellie, "Emma, go get dressed."

"Fine..." Emma walked upstairs, still only in her thong. She walked past everyone. She stopped to say hi to a few people. Jay came flying up the stairs after her and tried to cover her with his arms. He got her upstairs and he closed the bedroom door.

"Emma what the hell are you doing?"

Her eyes opened wider, "What do you mean?"

"You just walked through your house, naked. And there's like 50 people down there!"

"So?"

Jay threw clothes at her, "You're not leaving this room."

Emma laughed and pushed him on the bed, "Then neither are you."

Jay tried to get her off of him, but she kept holding him back, "Em, you just cheated on me...With Alex. I'm not in the mood."

Emma rolled her eyes and got up. She pulled on the clothes Jay put out for her, "You know, you cheated on me twice."

"Twice?"

"Jessica and Ellie."

"You don't know what was going in there..."

"I was in the basement for like an hour Jay. When I first went down there, I heard laughing. Then you come out with sex hair and your costume all messed up."

Jay sighed, "Fine, I cheated on you with Ellie."

"I know...Now I get to tell Sean." Emma ran for the door. Jay tried to stop her, but she was too quick. She ran over to Sean, "Guess what?"

Jay put a hand over her mouth, "Don't listen to her man. She's on E."

Sean laughed, "And people usually tell the truth on E."

Emma bit Jay's hand, "Jay fucked Ellie."

Jay put his hands up, "It wasn't like that."

Sean stood up, "Then what was it like?"

Jay sighed, "Well...Ok, fine it was like that. But, she came to me."

"But you didn't stop her..."

"No."

"So, you're an asshole." Sean punched Jay in the jaw and Jay fell in to a few people. Sean walked out.

"I deserved that."

Alex came back up from the basement and walked over to Emma, "What's up?"

Emma shrugged, "Jay had sex with Ellie. I told Sean. Sean punched Jay."

Alex nodded, "I'm sleepy."

"You can go crash on my bed." Alex left and went upstairs.

Jay pulled Emma out of the crowd and took her to the kitchen, "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"OK, you're messed up. I'm leaving. We can talk tomorrow."

"Fine. Take Ellie with you."

Jay left and Ellie followed. Emma walked around and found Manny, "Hey, what time is it?"

Manny looked at her watch, "3 a.m."

"Damn. We should get people out."

Manny nodded. She turned off the music and stood on the couch, "Sorry guys. But, party's over. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!"

Everyone said goodbye and left. 30 minutes later, Manny was passed out on the couch and Emma was laying on her bed. She was attempting to talk to a half asleep Alex.

"So, do you want clothes to change in to? 'Cause I have clothes...Lots of them. Sometimes too many. Jay left. Did you know that? I don't know...You awake? Cause if you are I should shut up..."

Alex put a hand over Emma's mouth, "No more E for you. You talk too much. Yes, I would like clothes to change in to."

Emma nodded. She got up and then stopped, "We could sleep naked?"

Alex smiled, "Ok." She pulled off her costume.

Emma pulled off her tank top, pants and thong. She got under the covers with Alex. The cuddled and then fell asleep.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Emma woke up and she could feel someone laying next to her. She rolled over and came face to face with a naked Alex. Alex slowly opened her eyes, "Hi."

Emma sat up, "Oh my god."

Alex blinked and sat up, "Oh shit."

"What the hell did we do...We didn't..."

"I think we did..." She paused, "Yeah, we did."

Emma jumped out of bed, "Ok, I'm naked." She grabbed her bath robe.

Alex got up and pulled on some pants and a shirt that was laying on the floor, "Let's go see who's here."

Emma nodded and followed her out of the room. They found Manny cleaning in the kitchen, "Hey guys."

Alex waved and started to clean up the living room. Emma sat down and sighed, "I am so dead."

Manny looked at her, "Why?"

"I went down on Alex."

Manny's eye widened, "Oh...That part I didn't know...I do, however, know that Jay cheated on you with Ellie, you told Sean, Sean punched Jay. Jay left."

"Ellie?"

Manny nodded, "Yup."

"I'm gonna go get dressed and talk to Jay."

"Ok. I'll finish the cleaning."

Emma went upstairs and put some clothes on. She brushed her hair and teeth. She put on some make up and left the house. She got in her car and drove to Jay's. When she got there, she rang the bell.

"Who is it?"

"It's Emma."

Jay opened the door and let her in, "How was your night?"

Emma rolled her eyes, "Well, from what I remember it was good."

"So, we gonna talk?"

"Refresh my memory first."

Jay sighed, "I walked out of the bathroom with Ellie. You were only in your thong. Alex was just standing there in her costume. You admitted you went down on her and vice versa."

Emma raised an eyebrow, "And?"

Jay smiled, "I thought you would forget the rest...But, I guess not. I cheated on you with Ellie. You told Sean, and he punched me. He left and then Ellie and I left."

"This relationship is never going to work. I know I'm guilty, too. But, I was on E and it was my first time doing something wrong. This is like your 10th mistake."

"10th?"

"Well, ignoring me. Trying to get Sean back for whatever reason by using me. Using me. Being with Amy. Cheating on me with Jessica and Ellie...I'm sure there's more."

"So, what are we gonna do?"

Emma sighed, "Break up. For now. I guess. I don't know."

"Ok."

Emma walked towards the door to leave, "Bye."

"Bye."

Emma opened the door and was about to close it but stopped, "Oh and Jay?..."

Jay walked over to her, "Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant."

_CHORUS:_

_I never promised you a happy ending_

_You never said you wouldn't make me cry_

_but summer love will keep us warm long after_

_our autumn goodbye, autumn goodbye_

_autumn goodbye _

_Thinkin' of you and the love of our lives_

_in the sweet summertime_

_so sad but true (so true, so true)_

_we must leave it behind_

_in our hearts, in our minds_

_From April through September_

_bittersweet was the love that we share_

_don't forget_

_I remember_

_Repeat CHORUS (2 times)_

_Memories can fade_

_but my heart has a place for the smile on your face_

_and maybe someday_

_we can be more than friends_

_love will find us again_

_Red leaves and blue tomorrows_

_Time will give back the love that we shared_

_on the time that we borrowed_

_Repeat CHORUS (2 times)_

_From April through September_

_bittersweet was the love that we share_

_don't forget_

_I remember baby_

_Repeat CHORUS (2 times)_

_We'll leave behind the summertime_

_our hearts, our minds_

_they will remind_

_we won't forget_

_the day we met_

_the day we cried_

_Autumn Goodbye_

_I never promised you a happy ending_

_You never said you wouldn't make me cry_

_but summer love will keep us warm long after_

_our autumn goodbye, autumn goodbye_

_autumn goodbye_

**Song: Autumn Goodbye**

**Owned by: Britney Spears**


	17. Love Song

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Seventeen_

Love Song

Sunday, October 30, 2005 - Jay's house

Emma was about to walk out of the house when Jay grabbed her arm, "What?"

She looked down at her shoes, "I'm pregnant. Well, I'm pretty sure. I'm late. I should have had my period at the end of September...Now it's the end of October and still, nothing."

Jay sighed, "You haven't taken a test?"

Emma shook her head, "I was just gonna wait it out...See if things changed..."

"You should take a test."

"I know."

"Ok, things are shitty between us with the mutual cheating and everything. I'm pissed at you for fooling around with Alex. But, this is something we both have to deal with."

Emma laughed, "You fooled around with Ellie. And Jessica." She took a deep breath, "I'm gonna go to the store."

"Want me to come with?"

She nodded and walked out the house. Jay followed behind her. Emma walked to her car and got in the drivers seat. Jay got in on the passenger side. Emma pulled away and drove to the closest drug store. They walked in and looked around the store. They reached the aisle with the pregnancy tests. Emma looked at a few of them and grabbed an E.P.T. pregnancy test. She walked to the counter and put it down. The cashier rang it up and Emma handed her the money. Jay just stood behind her silently. They both walked back to the car, "Where should I go?" Emma asked.

"My house if you want. No one's home."

Emma nodded and drove back to Jay's. When they got there, Emma went straight to the bathroom. A few minutes later, her and Jay were sitting on his bed in silence. Emma looked at her watch, "It's been three minutes."

"How long does it take?"

"Box says two minutes."

"Then, go look."

Emma sighed and got up. She walked to the bathroom and came back with it in her hand, "I'm afraid to look."

Jay got up and put an arm around her, "Whatever it is, I'm here, ok?"

"Jay, I'm 16! This can't happen."

"It happened with your mom."

"Yeah, but I'm not suppose to follow in her foot steps. I don't want this."

Jay walked her back over to the bed and sat down with her, "How could this have happened? We've used a condom every time."

Emma was silent for a minute, "No. We didn't."

Jay looked confused, "I'm pretty sure..."

"The janitor's closet."

Jay fell back on the bed, "Oh yeah."

Emma sighed, "Ready?"

Jay closed his eyes, "I guess."

Emma turned the test over. She looked at it, and then dropped it, "We are in so much trouble."

_I've never written a love song  
That didn't end in tears  
Maybe you'll rewrite my love song  
If you can replace my fears  
I need your patience and guidance  
And all your lovin' and more  
When thunder rolls through my life  
Will you be able to weather the storm?  
There's so much I would give ya, baby  
If I'd only le myself  
There's this well of emotions  
I feel I must protect  
But what's the point of this armorIf it keeps the love away, too?  
I'd rather bleed with cuts of love  
Than live without any scars  
Baby, can I trust this?  
Or do all things end?  
I need to hear that you'd die for me  
Again and again and again  
So tell me when you look in my eyes  
Can you share all the pain and happy times  
'Cause I will love you for the rest of my life  
This is my very first love song  
That didn't end in tears  
I think you re-wrote my love song  
For the rest of my years  
I wil love you for the rest of my Life  
_

**Song: Love Song**

**Owned By: Pink

* * *

**

I know you guys aren't too happy with the pregnancy thing. For that plot, I actually have an idea where it's going to go. So, just wait and see.


	18. Is It Love?

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Eighteen_

Is It Love?

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

Emma sat in the waiting at the clinic. She let her feet swing back and forth, becoming impatient. Jay sat next to her, with his head against the wall. They were sitting there for twenty minutes. They cut school to go. Emma picked up a magazine and began to flip through it. A lady stepped out, "Nelson?"

Emma put the magazine down and stood up, "That's me."

Jay stood up and followed Emma and the lady in to a room. He took a seat.

The lady looked at Emma, "Change in to the gown on the table. The doctor will be right in." She left and closed the door.

Emma walked towards the table and began to unbutton her pants. She looked at Jay who was staring at her, "Do you mind?"

He laughed, "Em, you walked through your party naked."

She sighed, "Whatever." She took of her clothes and changed in to gown. She sat p on the table, waiting for the doctor.

There was a knock at the door and a young woman doctor walked in, "Hello. I'm Dr. Hardiman. You must be Emma."

Emma nodded and smiled, "Yep" She pointed at Jay, "That's my...That's Jay."

Dr. Hardiman walked over to Jay and shook his hand. She walked back to Emma, "So, what brings you here."

Emma sighed, "I'm late. I've missed two periods. I took a test and it was positive."

The doctor nodded, "Alright, let's do an ultra sound. Labs take too long. And I'm sure you're anxious to know."

Emma nodded.

"Alright, lay back." Emma did as she was told. Dr. Hardiman put a blanket over Emm's legs and pulled up the gown to show her stomach. She pulled out a bottle, "This will probably be cold." She squirted some on Emma's stomach. She brought of the sonogram machine. She put the transducer probe on Emma's stomach and moved it around over the gel, "This has a heart monitor built in to it. It's better. Gets things down quicker. Want me to turn it up so you can hear the heartbeat, if you are pregnant?"

Emma looked over to Jay and he walked over. He held her hand and she nodded.

Dr. Hardiman reached over and turned the sound on. Nothing could be heard except Emma's heart beat. She got closer to the monitor and continued to move the transducer probe around. She smiled slightly, "Well, I found something." A fast heartbeat filled the room.

Emma squeezed Jay's hand harder, "Is it.."

Dr. Hardiman nodded, "Yes. You're pregnant. See right there?" She pointed to the screen, "That's the baby's head."

Emma looked at the screen and then turned away. She started to cry. Jay laughed a little, he was in shock, "Wow."

Dr. Haridman hit print and then pushed the machine away, "Do you know what you want to do, Emma?"

Emma wiped away her tears, "No. I have no idea."

Dr. Hardiman wiped the gel off Emma's stomach and pulled the gown back down, "Well, you have a few options. One, is aborion. Two, is adoption and third keeping it."

"I need time. I need to think about it."

"Well, you have about two weeks to decide. After that, you only have two choices, adoption and keeping it."

Emma nodded and sat up, "Ok."

"Come back when you know. We're done here, so... you can get dressed and head out."

"Thank you."

Jay nodded, "Yeah, thank you."

Dr. Hardiman walked out and Jay passed Emma her clothes. She quietly got dressed. They walked out of the clinic and back to Jay's car. They drove to her house in silence. When they got there, Emma let out a sob, "This can't be happening. It can't. I don't know what I want to do!"

Jay brought her in to a hug, "Em, it's going to be ok. We'll get through this. Whatever you decide, I'll back you 100."

She pulled away from him, "What do you want to do?"

He shrugged, "I don't know."

"Thanks for the help."

"Let's just go inside."

"Fine." She got out and walked in to her house with Jay following behind.

Manny heard them come in and walked over to them, "Were have you guys been? You didn't go to school?"

Jay looked away and Emma sighed, "We were at the clinic."

Manny's jaw dropped and started hitting Jay, "You ass! You gave my friend another STD!"

Jay shook his head, "Ow! No...OW! I didn't! OW! Emma help!"

Emma pulled Manny away, "Manny, I'm pregnant."

Manny stopped and then looked at Jay. She gave him an evil look and started hitting him again, "That's enough worse!"

Jay backed in to the door, "You are so lucky I don't hit girls!"

Emma pulled her back again, "Manny, stop."

Manny took a deep breath, "Ok. I'm done. What are you gonna do?"

Emma shrugged, "No idea."

Manny pulled her in to a hug, "It'll be ok."

Emma pushed her away, "Will people stop saying it'll be ok? How will it be ok? I get an abortion, I go against what I believe me. I put it up for adoption, I wonder my whole life what it's doing. I have it, I ruin my life. None of them is ok!" Emma ran up the stairs to her room slamming the door.

_Chorus:  
Is it love, or just a curse  
Do you feel good when I hurt  
I need your heart to open up  
If this love's not real, then it's just my luck _

Mommy help me, I need your help  
This little boy, he took my love  
And he says these things that make my body pump up  
But then he runs leavin me un-doneAnd I don't understand  
For sex he said he'd be my man

Repeat Chorus

Daddy listen, I gave it up  
I'm not your little girl  
My cherry, and all the trust is missing  
But please listen, what do I do  
I know you wanna hurt him  
But I like what he do, he's only doin what you used to

Repeat Chorus

You never told me bout the birds and the bees  
Or bout hide n' go seek or what he gets when he finds me  
The biggest mistakes in the choices I make  
Won't you help me decide, what's goin down in my mind

Repeat Chorus 2x

That thing you're puttin on me  
Has got me so confused  
Won't somebody help me, tell me what should I do  
In my heart it feels so good, is it just a curse  
Will it get better, or will it get worse

Repeat Chorus To Fade

**Song: Is it love?**

**Owned By Pink**


	19. Keeping It Together

**Love Ridden**

Chapter Nineteen

Keeping It Together

Emma sat in her bedroom with her back against the door. Jay had been knocking for twenty minutes. He kept asking her to open the door. She could tell he was getting aggravated but she didn't care. She wanted to be alone. She slammed her head back against the door and let out an annoyed sigh, "Jay, just go away!"

"Emma! Come on just open the door."

"I want to be alone, Jay."

"Fine. I'm leaving."

She heard him walk down the stairs and then heard the front door slam. She sighed and stood up. She walked over to her dresser and put on a skirt and a halter top. She looked in her mirror and made sure she looked ok. She quietly opened her door and left the house. She got in her car and pulled away. She drove to the Ravine. Jay told her that no one would go there anymore. But, she had been hearing about kids going back there after not being able to find anywhere else to go.

She parked her car and got out. She looked around. She didn't see anyone she knew. She walked over to a group of girls, "What are ya on?"

They all looked at her and a brunette stepped over to her, "Well, some of us are drinking. Others are stoned. Some are rolling. Some are tripping..."

Emma smiled, "Where can I trip?"

The girl laughed, "So, you wanna see Lucy in the sky with diamonds?"

Emma nodded.

"Go see that man over there." She pointed to a guy surrounded by people.

"Thanks." Emma walked over, "Hi, I wanna trip."

The guy in the middle of everyone stepped out, "How much?"

Emma looked at him, "Jeff?"

His eyes widened, "Well, hello Heaven."

"It's Emma."

"Whatever. How much do you want?"

Emma sighed, "30 bucks worth."

"Alright. I'll give you 15 hit. That's a special price for ya."

Emma smiled and held out her money. Jeff pulled out the acid. He took the money and handed her the sheet, "Bye."

Emma walked away and sat at an empty bench. She looked at what Jeff gave her. It was in a Sweet Breath bottle. She took off the cover and let two drop fall on to her tongue. She put the cover back on and in to her pocket. She sat there, waiting.

An hour later, Emma was sitting with the brunette girl. Emma looked at her, "I don't remember your name."

The girl laughed, "Bevan."

Emma laughed, "Jeff should be calling you Heaven, it suits you better."

"Who's Jeff?"

"Acid boy."

She looked confused, "I thought his name was Jared...Oh well."

Emma sighed and looked around at everyone, "It looks like their faces are peeling."

Bevan laughed, "It does..."

They sat there for a few hours occasionally getting up to talk to random people and tell them their faces were peeling. Emma was walking back to her bench when Jeff stepped in front of her, "I was in jail because of you."

Emma rolled her eyes, "I never called the cops."

"So? You had to be the prude princess."

Emma pushed past him, "Whatever."

He grabbed her arm, "Word was you like the van. Then you pussy whipped Jay. Didn't need to come down here anymore, did ya? Why you back?"

She pulled her arm away from his grip, "Because I'm dealing with my issues."

"What issues are those? Mommy and Daddy don't agree on what prom dress you can get it?"

Emma laughed, "That was lame. And no."

He grabbed her arm again and dragged her behind a tree. He pinned her against it, "I think we should have another go. What do you think?"

"No."

He smiled, "Yes. But, this time, I should kick your ass before I start." He grabbed her hair and threw her to the ground. He went to kick her in her stomach but she screamed.

"No! Don't please! I'm pregnant." She started to cry. He trip was totally gone now.

He picked her up by her hair, "What?"

"I'm pregnant."

"And you're doing acid? How stupid are you?"

"Shut up. Just let me go."

He slapped her across the fast, "Don't tell me to shut up." Her head hit the tree when he slapped her. It hit so hard, she was unconscious. Jeff looked at her and shook her a little, "Wake up, bitch." When she didn't move he let go of her and she fell to the ground. Jeff ran out of there.

20 minutes later - Jay

Jay parked and got out. He was at the Ravine. Manny followed him out of the car, "Jay, her car's here."

"Go check it out. I'm gonna ask around."

Manny nodded and walked towards Emma's car. Jay walked in to the crowd of people. He stopped a few people asking if they had seen her. Everyone said no. He walked over to a bench and saw Emma's bag. He looked at the girl sitting on the bench, "What's Emma?"

The girl laughed, "M&M? She went over there with Acid Boy, or Jared...Wait maybe it was Jeff..."

Jay walked in to the area that was mostly trees. He started to call out her name. He almost tripped and he looked at what he tripped over, it was Emma. Jay fell to his knees, "Em! Emma! Wake up." He picked her up and walked back to his car. Manny was there waiting, "Go get her bag. It's over by that bench. Take her to the hospital in her car. I'm gonna find Jeff."

Manny had tears in her eyes as she ran over to the bench and grabbed Emma's bag. She ran back over to Jay. She opened the backseat door for him and tears filled her eyes as he put her in, "She's ok? Right, Jay?"

Jay sighed, "Go. Now."

"Fine. Call Sean. Get him to help."

Hospital

Manny parked the car in front of the ER doors. She left the keys in the car and her door opened as she ran inside, "Help! My friend is hurt!"

Two male security guys came over, "Where is she?" one asked.

"In the car out front. She's in the back seat." The one who asked looked at the other and told him to get a paramedic.

He sat Manny down, "What happened?"

"I don't know. We found her like this. She was at the Ravine and..." Manny looked up as a few paramedics were wheeling Emma in on a gurney, "She's pregnant."

"Miss, what's your name?"

"Manny Santos."

"Ok, I'm Tom. What's your friend's name?"

"Emma Nelson."

"Now tell me who is we?"

Manny closed her eyes, "We? Oh...Jay and me."

"Who's Jay?"

"Jay's her boyfriend. He went...He...Never mind..."

"Where did he go Manny?"

"I don't know exactly. He said he was going to find the guy who did this."

"Did he say who it was?"

"Jeff...I can't remember his last name. But he was arrested before. Recently. He beat her up before and tried to rape her...Can I see her?"

"Follow me." Tom and Manny stood up. They walked through a bunch of doors. Tom stopped at a desk and was whispering to an old woman. He turned around and look at Manny, "You can't see her right now."

"I have to! She's like my sister! Please?"

Tom shook his head, "She's in surgery. She lost the baby. And now she's losing too much blood."

Jay and Sean walked up behind them. Jay stopped, "What?"

Manny turned around, "Jay..."

Tom walked over to them, "What happened?"

"I don't know."

"Did you find the person who did this?"

Jay shook his head, "Someone else got to him first."

"Who?"

Jay shook his head again, "No idea."

Sean stepped over to Manny, "Let's get some coffee, ok?"

Manny nodded and they left Jay and Tom.

Jay put both hands on his head and sighed, "She lost the baby?"

Tom nodded, "Were you the father?"

"Yeah...We only just found out. Emma didn't even know what she wanted to do..."

A doctor came out, "Tom, who's here with Ms. Nelson?"

Tom nodded towards Jay, "Him."

"I'm Dr. Daniels. Does Ms. Nelson do drugs?"

Jay was about to lie, then stopped, "Occasionally."

"Well, tonight was one of those nights. She had acid in her pants pocket and in her system. However, that in no way led to her being here. It looks like she received a blow to the back of her head. She always has a hand print on the side of her face. She also suffered from, I'm guessing, a fall. Something pierced through her stomach..."

Jay cut him off, "No. No. I picked her up. I didn't see anything."

"Well, were you looking for anything?" Tom asker.

"No. I just wanted to get her out of there."

The doctor sighed and continued, "Whatever pierced her side went through to her stomach. Bad news is, she lost the baby in the process."

"When can I see her?"

"You can go see her now. She's asleep. She's in room 204. Tom will take you."

Tom put a hand on Jay's shoulder, "Right this way."

Drugs stopped working when I was born  
But all the fairy dust I breathe  
Is doing nothing to relieve  
The strife of broken Autumn leaves in the sand

I'm still high on the music  
As my inner child cries  
For she may lose it

And the incense in my eyes  
Can't save the sin between your thighs  
Because you stabbed me with your lies  
You're not the only one that's broken

Whore, fuck your drugsI introduced you anyway  
You're a slave  
Spun undone, I met you in an alleyway  
And I'm never okay

Cause I'm pretending like I'm keeping it together  
I'm pretending like I'm keeping it together

My bones are scratched and so forlorn  
And all the Prozac that I take  
Is only lulling me to make up  
This forced smile that is fake for all the doctors

But I'll get by  
For the music  
Stand as an object  
So they can use it

So go snort your loved white powder  
I'll just play my music louder  
And get my drugs from the counter at the pharmacy

Whore, fuck your drugs  
I introduced you anyway  
You're a slave  
Spun undone, I met you in an alleyway  
And I'm never okay

Cos I'm pretending like I'm keeping it together  
Oh, I'm pretending like I'm keeping it together  
Oh, I'm pretending like I'm keeping it together  
Oh, I'm pretending like I'm keeping it together  
And they'll never know

Song: Keeping it together

Owned By: Katy Rose


	20. Because I Can

**Ok heres the dealio...I'm going to be posting some small chapters in order to get a few out a night. OK? Ok. BTW this is ending soon.**

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Twenty_

Because I Can

Jay walked in to the quiet hospital room that Emma was in. He gently closed the door and walked over to the bed. He sat in the chair that was next to the bed. He stared at her. He looked at the peacefulness of her face. His eyes then went to her stomach. There was no longer a baby. He felt relief for that, but also anger towards Jeff and to Emma for going back to the Ravine. He closed his eyes and clenched his fist. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. He sighed and then opened his eyes again. She looked so still. So perfect. As if a huge burden had been lifted off of her. He knew she hadn't been sleeping well. She most have welcomed that rest with open arms.

He put a hand on top of hers. He whispered, "Em, what were you doing? I know you weren't sure about...about the baby. You didn't have to do this." He wiped a tear from his eye, "I'm sorry for this whole year. From the play, to now. I should have left you alone. None of this would have happened." He squeezed her hand, "I'm going to go away, for a little while. I'm going to give you time to think about your life. You need to. I'll know if you ever really need me. Manny, Alex and Sean will be here for you. I just...I'm sorry. I love you." He stood up and kissed her forehead. He opened the door to leave. He walked out letting the door close behind him.

A few minutes later, Emma's eyes fluttered open, "Jay?" She looked around, but no one was there. She sighed and fell back to sleep. The next day, she woke up to Manny and Alex talking next to her bed, "Hey guys," she said in a hoarse voice.

Manny smiled, "Em! You're awake!"

Emma smiled, "Yeah."

Alex looked away and then back to her, "You can be dumb sometimes, Emma."

"I know, Lex. I know...Speaking of dumb, where's Jay?"

Manny and Alex looked at each other and didn't say anything.

"Guys, where is he?"

Manny sighed, "We don't know."

Alex stood up, "He just said he wanted to give you space..."

Emma started to cry, "I can't fucking believe him! I need him so bad right now."

Manny put a hand on Emma's shoulder, "I know. He'll be back though. He loves you too much to stay away."

Emma sighed, "Can you guys just leave me alone for now? I want to be alone."

They both nodded and left the room. Emma looked down at her stomach and then remembered she lost the baby, "I'm so stupid."

I keep on looking through the looking glass  
And I want to fall on through  
Out of the real world to a happy day  
Out of the wreckage that I do

I keep on dreaming because I can even though my eyes don't close  
I keep on tripping because its free to a place I only know  
I keep on dreaming because I can even though my eyes don't close  
I keep on slipping out of this life

Still my hand won't go to the other side  
My boney fingers stay locked here  
The glass is cold when I touch my face  
But I can taste my salty tears

I keep on dreamin because I can even though my eyes don't close  
I keep on trippin because its free to a place I only know  
I keep on dreamin because I can even though my eyes don't close  
I keep on slippin out of this life waiting for the drapes to close

Mirror mirror won't you kiss my cheek  
And tell me I'll be oK  
And warm my spirit with your sugar lips  
And help me wait for another day

**Song: Because I can**

**Owned By: Katy Rose**


	21. Lasting Impressions

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Twenty-one_

Lasting Impressions

Jay's P.O.V.

Jay's been going for a little over two months. He ended up in the States. Just bouncing around from state to state and city to city. He kept in touch with Manny, that way he would know how she was doing. Manny would tell him that she seemed fine. She was doing better in school, she never went to the Ravine. She was getting back to the old Emma. Manny and Jay had worked out a plan. Every other Friday, Manny would take Emma to The Dot. She would have on a smile, and laugh with her friends. But, Jay could tell she was hurting and he was dying inside. He wanted to know what was wrong.

Jay walked out of a gas station, with a bag of food in hand. He got in his car and drove to the motel he was staying at. He parked and walked in to the motel entrance. He gave a what's up nod to the night manager and headed to his room.

He ate his steal sandwich that he got from the gas station. He took a quick shower and threw on some sweat pants. He laid in bed and turned on the TV. He flipped through the channels for a few minutes, then turned it off. He reached over to turn the light of, when a picture caught his eye. It was a picture of Emma and him that Craig took a while back. It was a candid picture. Emma stole Jay's hat and he was rolling his eyes and about to grab it from her. She just smiled and laughed at him. That was when Craig took the picture. Right when she was laughing. After the picture was taken, she put the his hat back on his head and kissed him.

Jay sighed and put a hand on the picture, "Night, Em." He turned off the light and went to sleep.

Jay sat in his newly painted black Civic. He was parked across the street from The Dot. Watching her. Since he left, he has driven back 4 times. Jay turned off the car and got out. He walked across the street and in to The Dot. Emma was standing at the counter, with her back to him. He walked right up to her and put his arms around her. She jumped at first but turned around in his arms. Her eyes filled up with tears as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He whispered in her ear, "Em, I'm so sorry for leaving. I shouldn't have. I wanted to give you time to figure out your life."

She laughed lightly and looked him in the eye, "Jay, my life is with you." She wrapped her arms around his new tighter and kissed him.

He gently pulled her back, "I've missed you so much."

She smiled, "I missed you. Where did you go?"

He shrugged, "Just around."

"That's a nice place." She joked.

He laughed, "Oh yes." He rested his forehead against hers, "God, I missed holding you."

She kissed his nose, "You'll miss it more if you don't come back."

He lifted his head so he could look at her better, "I am back."

She nodded, "No. You're not. I'm still alone. Jay come back." She started slowly moving away. Jay tried to grab her, but she would just get farther and farther away. "Emma! Wait!"

Jay jumped up in his bed, "What the hell?" He picked up his cell phone and called Manny.

"_Hello?" Manny said in a tired voice._

"Manny, it's Jay."

"_As much as I love our Emma phone calls, can it wait until it's not 4 in the freaking morning."_

"I'm sorry, I had to call. Is everything ok up there?"

_Manny yawned, "Pretty sure."_

"Is Emma home?"

"_Jay, just call her. Please."_

Jay sighed, "Fine. Bye."

He hung up his phone and waited a few minutes. He found Emma's number in his phone and hit the call button. After a few rings, she answered, _"Whoever this is, better have a good reason for calling."_

Jay was about to hang up when he heard someone talking in the background, "Emma?"

_Emma dropped the phone, but quickly picked it up, "Jay?"_

"Yeah, it's me."

I'll wait til the clock strikes a nerve to spend some time with you  
I can't stand to depend on the shadow I cast alone when we should  
For the sake of making a statement  
Let's make our presence known  
Let's show them what were made of  
We'll show up in our outfits we planned ahead  
To meet the qualifications for a special occasion  
Today is your day today is our day  
Making up for lost time  
Making a scene oh yeah

You've made a lasting impression  
And if it doesn't feel right  
Then I just can't go wrong  
I've been sleeping with the lights on  
So if I wake in the night  
Your picture is clearly in sight

So let's meet at the mouth for a kiss  
That's been so long overdueNo thanks to the two thousands of miles  
And the touring we always do  
(It makes me miss you more)

You've made a lasting impression  
And if it doesn't feel right  
Then I just can't go wrongI've been sleeping with the lights on  
So if I wake in the night  
Your picture is clearly in sight

I could explode  
Cuz you just never, you never know  
It would suit the moment perfectly

You've made a lasting impression  
And if it doesn't feel right  
Then I just can't go wrong  
I've been sleeping with the lights on  
So if I wake in the night  
You've made a lasting impression  
And if it doesn't feel right  
Then I just can't go wrongI've been sleeping with the lights on  
So if I wake in the night  
Your picture is clearly in sight

We can't go wrong...  
We can't go wrong...

**Song: Lasting Impressions**

**Owned By: The Starting Line**

**

* * *

**

**Ok, this isn't the best chapter. I was going to add more to it, but I'm just going to post it and start on another one.**


	22. Photography

OK, when you see 'blah blah' it means the person is thinking to themselves...And "blah blah" means it's out loud...

Love Ridden

Chapter Twenty-two

Photography

Emma's P.O.V.

"One second." Emma pulled the phone away from her mouth and looked at the person next to her, "Shut up until I'm off the phone." She put the phone back to her ear, "Jay...What...How are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

Emma sighed, "I've been better. Why are you calling?"

"I had a weird dream...I just wanted to make sure things were ok."

"Things are fine." She stood up and walked away from the person she was with. 'Liar..'

"You sure, Em?"

She closed her eyes tightly, 'No. I'm not sure. My life has sucked every since you left..' She sighed, "Yeah, I'm sure. Where have you been?"

"Just traveling. Staying at hotels and stuff."

"Sounds fun. Ever coming back?"

"Actually, I have been back. A few times."

"Wait, you've been back but never came to see me?"

"Well, I did see you. I just never let you see me."

"I thought..." Emma kicked an empty beer can, "I have to go."

"Wait, where are you?"

Emma looked around, 'Good question...' She quickly thought of a place, "My friend Bevan's. I fell asleep here."

"Oh...Well, I'm coming back. I'm leaving soon."

She lightly smiled, "Good to know. Will I actually see you this time?"

"Yeah, I'm coming back for good."

"I'll believe it when I see it. Bye, Jay." She quickly hung up her phone. She put it in her pocket and walked back over to the person waiting for her.

"Who was that?" the person asked asked.

She sighed, "That was...Jay."

"Oh, what did he want?"

"He wanted to know if everything was ok."

"Oh. Well, come here. Lay down. We weren't finished."

Emma smiled and laid down, "Are we ever finished?"

"Nope. I just can't get enough."

Emma laughed and pulled her shirt off, "How is it we're both still wearing our clothes?"

"No idea. Normally I have you out of your clothes right when we get here."

Emma looked around, "Where is here exactly."

"Just a run down apartment that people only come to when the Ravine gets to loud."

"Is that possible?" Emma laughed as she pulled off the person's shirt.

"Nope. That's why I like coming here with you. No one will see us."

"Yeah, but Lex, everyone knows about us."

Alex shook her head and unbuttoned Emma's pants, "No, everyone thinks they know about us, but they have nothing to back it up."

Emma bit her lip and lightly kissed Alex on her stomach.

Few hours later

Emma laid next to Alex smoking a cigarette. Alex had fallen asleep soon after they finished pleasing each other. She took a drag of her cigarette and looked down at the sleeping Alex. 'What am I doing?' She brushed a stray hair out of Alex's face.

'Jay's coming back.'

'Who cares? You have Alex.'

'But Jay...Jay is the love of my life.'

'Then what is Alex?'

'I don't know...'

Emma sighed and flicked her cigarette. She cuddled closed to Alex. She kissed Alex's forehead and quickly feel asleep.

I've never been so happy to see a photograph of me  
then when graced with your company.  
You're making a small change to the waythat you wear your heart.  
I like it better...I like it... I like it better now

I'll swing from a streetlight  
as I will sing oh, oh, oh  
I'm stuck in the meantime  
but we're so oh, oh, oh close

The sunlight's overwhelming the scene that's  
composed of you and me in our finest moment.  
An amazing illusion was made with trick photography  
it seems like you're really...you're really...  
it seems like you're really here.

I'll swing from a streetlight  
as I will sing oh, oh, oh  
And I'm stuck in the meantime  
but we're so oh, oh, oh close

I'll swing from a streetlight  
and sing oh, oh, oh  
And I'm stuck in the meantime  
but we're so oh, oh, oh close  
we're so close  
we're so close

I'll swing from a streetlight  
as I will sing oh, oh, oh  
And I'm stuck in the meantime  
but we're so oh, oh, oh close

I'm grilled by a spotlight  
And sing oh, oh, oh  
we're still in the meantime  
but we're oh so, oh so close.

Yeah we're oh so, oh so close,  
yeah we're oh so, oh so...

I'll swing from a streetlight  
as I will sing oh, oh, ohI sing oh, oh, oh  
I sing oh, oh, oh

Song: Photography

Owned By: The Starting Line

* * *

Alright, no one knows about Alex and Emma. They started seeing each other a month after Jay left. They weren't sure what they were doing, but they didn't care. Alex was sort of a replacment Jay for Emma. They know someday their love affair would end, they just don't know when. 


	23. Lemon

BTW: the date is Saturday, January 14, 2006

**p.s. This is gonna be a semigraphic-y chapter :)**

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Twenty-three_

Lemon

Emma paced around her room. Alex had woken her up a few hours ago. After dropping Alex off, she went back to her house. Manny was gone. She left a note saying she was going over to Craig's for a little bit. Jay had called again, telling her he was about 40 minutes from her house. That was only 10 minutes ago. She was freaking out. After she came home, she did her usually ritual. She cut. Every time she would come home, she would cut. She couldn't help it anymore. Alex never saw them. It was always dark when they were together. Plus, Emma was careful where she did them. But, today was different. She was angry. Angry at Jay for never letting her see him. Talking to him brought up a lot of things she moved in to the back of her mind. As she paced, blood dripped down her arm. She cut over an hour ago, but the blood was still sneaking it's way out of her pale skin.

She sighed and walked in to the bathroom. She stood in front of the full length mirror. It was as if she was looking at someone else. A stranger. Her hair was darker. She dyed it a light brown. Her skin was pale now. She no longer had light tanned skin. She looked like walking death. Emma's bones showed right through her skin and clothes. She had lost so much weight. No one really said anything. Emma grabbed her make up and quickly put some on. It made her look healthier. She put her make up and grabbed a towel. She pressed it down, trying to stop the bleeding. It helped, and she wrapped some gauze around the fresh cuts. She threw on a long sleeved shirt and a pair of hip huggers. She walked down the stairs to the living room.

Emma could hear her stomach growl, but she ignored it. She couldn't remember the last time she consumed something other than drugs and alcohol. She looked at the clock, 'Jay will be here any minute.' She walked outside and lit a cigarette. A few minutes later, a black Civic parked in front of the house.

Emma sighed and stayed on her spot on the stairs. Jay slowly got out of the car and walked up the steps. He sat down next to her. He picked up the cigarette pack next to her and lit one for himself. They sat in silence until both of their cigarettes wee finished.

"When did you start smoking?"

Emma shrugged, "Does it matter?"

Jay looked at her and then looked to the street, "You look like shit, Em."

Emma rolled her eyes, "Did you come back to insult me?"

"No. I came back because I shouldn't have left."

"Yeah, well you did. Can't take it back."

"I didn't leave to hurt you."

She laughed and stood up, "Well, you did a pretty bad job at not hurting me."

He stood up next to her, "You hurt me too, Emma. I wouldn't have left if you never went to the Ravine that night."

She opened the door to the house, "Don't forget about me getting our baby killed."

Jay closed his eyes and slowly opened them, "How can you say that so easily?"

"Because it's the truth." She walked in and left the door opened for him.

Jay followed her in and closed the door, "You didn't make Jeff do what he did."

"I know, but I'm the one who went to the Ravine. I'm the one who got drugs." She started to cry, "I didn't want any of that to happen. I told him I was pregnant, but still...he hurt me."

Jay walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her in to a hug, "Em, Jeff was and always will be an ass. I shouldn't have left you that night. I was just so tired of trying to help and you kept telling me to leave you alone."

Emma pushed him away and wiped her tears, "No. No. No. I can't go running back in to your arms. Things can't go back to how they were."

"Why not, Em?"

Emma turned so that her back so to him, "I'm with Alex."

"What?"

She turned to face him again, "I'm with Alex now."

"Manny never told me that."

"No one knows."

"Oh..."

Emma sighed, "I missed you. You have no idea how much. But, I got use to you being gone. I got a routine. See my friends. Hang out with Alex. Come home. Shower. Cu..." She stopped herself.

Jay looked at her confused, "What's cu?"

Emma shook it off with a laugh, "Nothing. Don't worry about it. Want a drink?" She walked towards the fridge pulling a beer for herself.

"Yeah sure." Emma handed him a beer and they sat on the couch.

They sat in silence for a while. About two hours, 15 beers and 6 shots of vodka later, they were sitting on Emma's bedroom floor. Jay was only in his boxers, Emma was sitting in a thong and her long sleeve shirt. They decided to play a strip drinking game. They couldn't remember what they made the rules to be, so with every last sip of a beer they took, a piece of clothing would come off.

Emma laughed at Jay took the last sip of his current beer, "Looks like Jay's gonna be nakey."

Jay smirked and stood up. He slowly pulled down his boxers. "And you love it."

Emma laughed and watched as his boxers hit the floor. He was fully hard, "I think someone else loves it more."

Jay looked down and laughed, "Well, there's this hot chick sitting in front of me wearing a thong." He sat down.

Emma's eyes opened wide, "Where?"

Jay reached out a hand and lightly rubbed the small fabric covering her pussy, "Right there."

Emma let out a small moan, "Hmm...I still don't see her."

Jay smiled and slid a finger underneath the fabric. He slowly moved a finger inside of her, "See her now?"

She moaned louder than before, "Not yet."

Jay laid her down and slid off her thong. He gently laid on top of her and rubbed himself against her clit, "Now?"

Her eyes closed and her arms wrapped around his back, "Almost."

He thrust himself in to her and she let out a loud moan. He moved in and out of her as fast as her could. He started to bite her neck. He put a hand on the bottom of her shirt and pulled it off. He threw it behind them. Emma wrapped her arms tighter around him. She screamed his name. Her nails dug in to his back as she reached her first orgasm. He kept going, not wanting to stop.

About an hour later, Jay collapsed on top of her. They both tried to catch their breathe.

"Jesus...I don't think I ever had so many orgasms." Emma smiled.

Jay bit his lip and rolled off of her, "You are a sex goddess."

Emma smiled and put a hand on his cheek, "Yeah, well, I learned from the best."

Jay kissed her hand. He looked down at her arm and sat up, "Emma! What the hell!"

Emma looked at her arms and quickly got up, "Shit. Shit. I forgot. Shit."

"What did you do?"

Emma stood in front of Jay naked. She had the bandage from early, that now had blood showing through because of it rubbing against Jay's back. She had scars across her stomach, her thighs, her ankles, her wrists. "You should go, Jay."

Jay put on his boxers and stood up, "Hasn't anyone seen these?"

Emma shook her head, "No. No one."

"Not even Alex?"

"No. I'm careful. Just today I wasn't."

"I thought you said you were fine."

Emma walked to her dresser and put on a clean shirt and sweat pants, "Yeah, well I lied."

_They've clipped my wings again  
Tore them apart and then  
Left me  
No use to fly away to  
My yesterday  
Of freedomMy eyes died back that day  
Seeing the hurt I may have done  
Beat me instead of them  
Pain is my only zen  
Of fun _

I'll go where secrets are sold  
Where roses unfold  
I'll sleep as time goes by

So hurting here is where I belong dreaming a song  
Blood on my hands to stay strong  
The flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong  
There is no right to heal the wrong  
Soup's on hot feelin' like a do or die  
I can't throw up don't think i even want to try

You still can't make me cry  
You've pinned this butterfly  
Down  
My fire's burning out  
Kill my flame without  
A frown  
And starving hurts the soul  
When you're hungry for  
Some love  
So if I close my eyes  
I can really fly  
Above

I'll go where secrets are sold  
Where roses unfold  
I'll sleep as time goes by

So hurting here is where I belong dreaming a song  
Blood on my hands to stay strong  
The flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong  
There is no right to heal the wrong  
Soup's on hot feelin' like a do or die  
I can't throw up don't think I even want to  
Tryyy- tryyyy- tryyyyyy

Chorus again

**Song: Lemon**

**Owned By: Katy Rose**


	24. Autumn’s Monologue

**GRAPHIC!**

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Twenty-four_

Autumn's Monoluge

"How can you lie about something like that?"

Emma sighed, "It's second nature."

"What lying?"

"No, saying I'm fine."

Jay let out an aggravated sigh, "What the hell happened to you, Emma? You're cutting the shit out of yourself. You look like you haven't eaten in years."

"Stop acting like you care, Jay. You don't care. If you cared, you would have never left me. You would have stayed. You would have helped me deal with what happened."

"So this is how you deal? Huh? Get some help, Emma. I can't help you. Alex can't. Manny can't. You have to get through this on your own."

Emma put a hands on her head, "Get out Jay. Just get out. This was a mistake. Leave. Don't ever talk to me."

Jay held back tears, "Is that what you want? You want me to leave you alone?"

She nodded.

He put the rest of his clothes on, "Fine."

She turned around. She closed her eyes and waited until she heard the front door slam. She opened her eyes and looked down at her floor. It was a mess. They knocked over a few beer cans that were opened and had some liquid left inside. There was some blood on the floor from her. She started to clean up all the cans and then put some towels on the floor. A few hours later everything was picked up. No evidence of what had happened was left. Except for her tear streaked face.

She walked down to the basement. She walked over to a wall. She slowly pulled a loose brick in the wall. She put the brick down and reached in to the wall. She pulled out a few bag with miscellaneous pills in them. She replaced the brick and went back to her room. She quickly changed in to a black pair of hip huggers that were ripped at the knees. She threw on a long sleeved shirt. She sat on her bed and took out 3 pink pills from a bag labeled X. She quickly swallowed them. She put the bags under her mattress.

Emma could hear her cell phone ringing. She searched her room for it and then found it around her dirty clothes. She didn't recognized the number, but answered it anyways.

"Hello?"

"_It's me."_

Emma giggled. The pills were already kicking in, "Me who?"

"_Jay."_

"Could have sworn I told you to leave me alone."

"_I know. It's just, I can't stay away from you, Em."_

"Well, obviously you can. You did it for what 2-3 months."

"_Let me come back over. Please."_

She sighed, "Fine."

"_Ok. Be there in 5."_

She hung up and threw her phone on the bed. She bounced down the stairs and grabbed a bottle of water. She drank half of it and heard a knock at the door. She walked over to it and opened it.

"Hello, Jay." She grabbed his arm and pulled him in.

He gave her a confused look, "Uh, hi."

She smiled, "Sorry, perky."

"Yeah, I can see that."

"So, what's up?"

"Well, my head hurts from the beer."

"Have more. It always helps."

"Since when did you become a beer expert?"

She laughed, "Since I started to drink it almost every day."

There was another knock at the door and Emma ran over to it. She opened it and Alex walked in. They both walked to the kitchen to were Jay was.

Alex smirked, "Well, well, well. Look who's back. What's going on?"

Jay laughed, "Nothing really. How about you?"

Alex put an arm around Emma, "Nothing at all."

"I'm going to grab a beer. Ok, Em?"

Emma smiled and nodded, "Go right ahead." She kissed Alex on the cheek, "Miss me?"

Alex put a hand on Emma's butt, "Of course."

Jay rolled his eyes, "So, what are you on, Emma?"

Emma gave him a semi dirty look, "What makes you think I'm on anything?"

"Well, your eyes are huge and earlier when I left you were pissed at me. Now, you're being nice."

Emma laughed, "Fine, you caught me. I'm on E."

Alex raised an eyebrow, "You took some without me?"

Emma rolled her eyes, "There's more. Don't worry. I'll go get them. Want some Jay?"

Jay sighed, "Why not?"

Emma smiled, "Be right back."

Emma went upstairs. A few minutes later she came back down. She gave 3 to Jay and 3 to Alex. They both took them them all. About 2 hours later, Emma was in the bathroom and Jay and Alex walked to the couch, "So, you and Emma?"

Alex smiled, "She told you?"

Jay nodded, "Yeah. Right before I fucked her brains out."

Alex spit out the water she had just took a sip of, "What?"

Jay smirked, "Oh, she didn't tell you about that?"

Alex bit her lip, "No. But whatever. We're allowed to see other people."

"I'm sure."

Emma came back and jumped on the couch between them, "Guys, I'm bored. We should play a game."

Alex put a hand on Emma's thigh, "What kind of game?"

Emma smiled. She leaned closer to Alex and kissed her hard on the mouth, "You know what kind of games I like."

Alex laughed, "Yes, I do. Do you want Jay to join in on the fun?"

Emma smirked and turned to face Jay, "Wanna play?"

Jay looked at her weird, "What game?"

Emma got off the couch and sat on Jay's lap, facing him. She bit his neck and pulled off his shirt, "A fun game. Right, Lex?"

Alex smiled and moved closer to them, "Very fun." She pulled off her own shirt and took of her bra. She reached behind her and turned off the lights. The only light was the 2 black lights on each side of the couch. She pulled off Emma's shirt.

Jay smirked and looked at both Emma and Alex's bare chest, "This is fun."

Emma smiled, "This is nothing." She got off of Jay and sat on Alex. She kissed Alex hard on the mouth, massaging Alex's tongue. She brought a hand to one of Alex's breasts. Alex smirked and did the same.

Jay raised an eyebrow, "So, do I just watch?"

Alex pulled away from Emma, "No. You can join."

"When?"

Emma stood up, "Kiss Alex."

Jay looked at Alex and Alex nodded. He moved her so she was laying on the couch and got on top of her. He roughly kissed her. Emma stood there, watching them. She undid her pants and stood there in a thong, "This is sexy, but we should take it to my room."

Alex and Jay both got up. They followed Emma to her room. Emma quickly closed and locked her door. She walked over to Alex who was standing near the bed. She wrapped her arms around her and put her hands on Alex's butt. Alex moved her hands around Emma's body and lightly bit her neck. Jay slid off his pants and stood behind Alex. He wrapped his arms around her. Emma smiled and looked at Jay while Alex continued to bite Emma's neck. Emma licked her lips and slid off Alex's panties. Alex slid them down the rest of the way. Emma put a hand through the hole in Jay's boxers and slowly started to massage him. Jay let out a moan and started to bit Alex's neck. His hand moved down Alex and he slowly slid a finger inside of her.

Emma smiled and continued to watch Jay. His eyes were rolling in the back of his due to the pleasure he was receiving and because of the drug. Emma slowly stopped and backed away, "Get on the bed," she ordered them.

Jay and Alex laid on the bed next to each other, hips touching. Emma kneeled on the bed looking at them. She ran her hand up Alex's thigh, "Baby, do you want Jay?"

Alex bit her lip and nodded.

"Do you want me?"

Alex nodded again.

"Where do you want me?"

Alex smiled and spread her legs a little.

Emma giggled, "Suck him." She pointed to Jay.

Alex smirked and Jay moved to the middle of the bed. Alex started to give him head. Emma quickly started to...

((Alright I'm going to stop the graphicness and just continue with the rest of the chapter. They all had sex with each other...Ok?))

Alex, Emma and Jay were laying next to each other a few hours later. Alex was asleep and Emma and Jay were smiling at each other.

Jay ran his hand up and down Emma's arm, "She didn't see them."

Emma looked at him confused, "See what?"

He whispered, "The cuts."

Emma shrugged, "I think she does, but she just pretends they're not there."

"Oh."

"I'm tired. I'm about to fall asleep."

Jay smiled and kissed her forehead, "Night, Em."

"Night."

_Oh why can't I be what you need?  
A new improved version of me.  
But I'm nothing so good  
no, I'm nothing...  
just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs  
of violence, of love, and of sorrow.  
I beg for just one more tomorrow!  
Where you'd hold me down, fold me in  
deep deep deep in the heart of your sins. _

I'd break in two over you  
I'd break in two  
and each piece of me dies  
and only you can give the breath of life!  
But you don't see me. You dont.

Here I'm pinned between darkness and light,  
bleached and blinded by these nights.  
Where I'm tossing and tortured till dawn  
by you, visions of you, then you're gone.  
The shock bleeds the red from my face,  
when i hear someone's taken my place.  
How could love be so thoughtless, so cruel?  
When all, all that i did was for you...

I'd break in two over you  
I'd break in two  
and each piece of me dies  
and only you can give the breath of life!  
But you dont see me. You don't.

I'd break in two over you  
I'd break in two  
and each piece of me dies  
and only you can give the breath of life!  
But you don't see me. You don't.

I'd break in two over you,  
I'd break in two over you! Over you  
I'd break in two,  
I would break in two for you.  
Now you see me, now you don't.  
Now you need me, now you don't.

_**Song: Autumn's Monologue**_

_**Owned By: From Autumn To Ashes**_

****

* * *

Seriously, I have no idea where I'm going with this story. 


	25. The Night Life

**Ok, this chapter will go kind of fast, but not. It might not make sense, but whatever. It will start the next day after Alex, Jay and Emma's little escapade and end a few days later.

* * *

**

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Twenty-five_

The Night Life

Jay woke up alone in Emma's bed. He slowly sat up and looked around the room. Random clothes were scattered all over. CDs were piled in every corner. Empty alcohol bottles were carefully placed on the window sills. Beer cans were piled in a pyramid in front of the bed. Jay shook his head and got out of the bed. He realized he was naked and searched for his boxers. He found a pair and put them. He left the room and walked downstairs. Emma was sitting on the couch, watching some cartoon. Manny was in the kitchen. Emma didn't even hear him. He decided to talk to Manny. He walked in to the kitchen and sat at the table.

Manny smiled at him, "Rough night, Jay?"

Jay laughed, "Yeah, you can say that."

Manny put a cup of coffee in front of him and sat down across from him, "She looks like death, doesn't she?"

Jay sighed, "Yeah. Why didn't you tell me?"

Manny shrugged, "I never really noticed. At first I figured she was just depressed because of you leaving and everything. But, she's never let a guy leaving control her life so much. I don't know what's wrong with her."

Jay sipped his coffee, "Well, I don't think I'm much help. I took E with her last night."

Manny rolled her eyes, "Good job, Hogart."

"Manny, don't." He sighed, "Have you seen her arms?"

Manny shook her head.

"She looks like a science experiment."

"How so?"

"She has cuts and scars all over her. Covering her."

"Great."

"Does she do anything besides drink and do drugs?"

"Yeah, she sits in front of the TV right when she wakes up. Showers, then goes out."

Jay turned in his seat and looked at Emma, "She's lost weight."

Manny nodded, "I never see her eat. I never hear her complain when we're almost out of food."

Jay sighed and got up, "I need to go somewhere. I'll be back soon. Try to not let her leave."

Manny stood up, "Where are you going?"

"To try to get help. Just keep her here, ok?"

"I'll try my best."

Jay gave Manny a quick hug and headed back upstairs. He found the rest of his clothes and got dressed. He quietly left the house and got in to his car. A few minutes later he pulled in front of Sean's apartment. He got out and walked to the door. He knocked. Sean answered the door right away.

"Jay? When did you get back?"

"Yesterday. Emma's in trouble."

Sean opened the door more and let Jay in, "And you're just realizing this?"

"Don't give me any shit Sean. I need your help."

"How?"

"Remember when we helped that friend of yours from Wasaga who had the drug problem?"

Sean nodded, "Yeah, Anna. We locked her in a room for like 5 days and made her quit cold turkey. It sucked. I almost got my arm broken."

Jay sighed, "Well, we gotta do it again."

"To Emma?"

"Yep."

"Never thought that would happen. When do we do it?"

"Tonight."

Sean grabbed his coat, "Let's get what we need."

Jay and Sean left. They drove to the store and got bottles of water, buckets, cleaning supplies and caffeine pills. A few hours later they went back to Emma's. Emma was asleep on the couch when they got there. Jay, Sean and Manny went to her room and cleaned it. They took everything breakable out. They found all of her drug stashes that she had in there. They moved everything out, they just left the mattress in there. They filled up some of the buckets with water and piled up a bunch of towels and sheets. When they were finished, Jay carried Emma up to her room. Sean was explaining to Manny what they were going to do. She understood and left to get pick up some food.

When Emma woke up, Jay and Sean were sitting on the end of her bed.

Emma smiled, "Oh, so now you want a 3 sum with Sean?"

Jay shook his head, "No."

Sean wouldn't look at her.

"So, then what's going on? Where's all my stuff?"

Jay sighed, "Consider this rehab, Em."

Emma rolled her eyes, "And why should I?"

Sean looked at her, "You have a problem. We're going to either help you get over it, or make you."

"I don't have a problem. I can stop the drugs anytime. And stop drinking."

Jay laughed, "Just like you stopped eating?"

Emma stood up, "Guys, come on. Let's just go downstairs, have a few drinks and see where the night takes us."

Jay stood next to her, "No. Not going to work that way. This isn't going to be fun. At all."

Sean stood on the other side of her, "We've done this before. You're going to have headaches. You're going to get sick. It's going to suck. Horribly. But, in the end, it'll be better."

Emma laughed, "Fine. Whatever."

XXXXX

10 hours later

Sean was holding Emma down with both of his hands. Jay was on the other side, wiping her head with a damp cloth.

"Just let me go, ok? One drink, please!" Emma was screaming.

"Em, no. You can't." Jay yelled back at her.

A few seconds later Sean was on the ground. Emma pushed him off of her. Jay jumped up and put his hands on her arms.

"Jay, let me go! This is so illegal!"

Jay laughed, "Ok, so go tell the police that I'm holding you hostage to clean out your system!"

Emma let out an aggravated sigh and slammed her self down on to her bed.

Jay walked over to Sean and helped him up, "You ok, man?"

Sean rolled his eyes, "She has no muscle on her, how is she so strong?"

Jay laughed lightly, "She knows what she wants and she won't stop until she gets it."

XXXXX

8 hours later

Jay was sitting in corner, watching Emma sleep. She has only been sleeping for less than an hour. Sean was downstairs eating. Jay had just finished cleaning up all the vomit. He sighed and leaned his against the wall. He hated seeing Emma like this. She was hurting and he was helping cause her pain. It would be for the better though. After a few days, the cravings would slow down and eventually stop. Well, he hoped.

Alex had stopped, looking for Emma. Manny explained to her what was going on. Alex freaked out at first, but after she found out that Emma was really hurting herself, she calmed down. She was now downstairs with Manny, cleaning more sheets.

Emma started to toss and turn in her sleep. Jay got up and walked over to her. He kneeled down and put a damp cloth to her forehead, "Shh. It's ok, Emma. I'm right here. You're ok."

She slowly opened her eyes, "Jay, please. It hurts. I can't handle this."

Jay held back his tears at the sound of her pleading voice, "You can. You have to do this. I'm right here, ok? I'll help you."

She reached for his hand, "Just one pill? There's some in the basement, behind a loose brick."

Jay sighed, "Anywhere else?"

Emma nodded, "Inside the couch cushions. Behind the spices in the kitchen cabinet."

"That's all?"

"Ask Alex. She might know where there's more. I just need one."

Jay stood up and walked to the door. He opened it and yelled for Sean.

XXXXX

15 hours later

Sean, Manny and Alex searched the entire house for Emma's stashes. They had a box full of drugs. They flushed everything down the toilet. Sean was with Emma now, while Jay slept down stairs on the couch.

"Sean, how much longer?" She whispered to him in a hoarse voice.

"A few hours or days. It all depends on you. It's only been about 34 hours, Em. These things take long."

Emma sighed and rolled on to her side, "It feels like I've been in here for weeks."

Sean sighed, "Yeah. I know. It'll get easier. You just have to relax and think of other things."

"How do you guys know this stuff?"

"We did it before."

"To who?"

"Jay and me met this chick Anna. She was amazing. She ended up with the wrong crowd. She would always say to us, 'If I ever end up selling myself for drugs, stop me. Save me.' She even explained to us have to sweat out addiction. Which is what you're doing."

"Where is she now?"

Sean shrugged, "No idea. She left town a few months later. Never heard from her again. She was probably ashamed."

Emma leaned over the bed and got sick again. Sean sat next to her and held her back. When she was done, he gave her a towel to wipe her mouth.

XXXXX

7 hours later

Emma was screaming at Jay, but Jay was trying to shut her out. She was blaming him for all of her problems. Sean was trying to hold her back. She was swinging her arms at Jay. He just let out a scream and grabbed hold of her arms. He slammed her on the bed and sat on top of her. He held her arms down, "Emma! Stop! Just stop! I left because I had to! I couldn't handle it! I never forced pills down your throat. I never slid a blade across your skin. Stop blaming me! Blame yourself! Say it! Say it's your fault!"

Tears started to pour down Emma's eyes, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! It's all my fault! I knew what I was doing, I just couldn't stop myself. I would just blame you. I blamed it all on you!"

Jay got up and punched the wall, leaving a huge hole. Sean just stood there and watched, not sure of what to do.

Jay pulled Emma up by her shoulders, "You're better than this. You can get over this. You have to."

Emma let more tears fall out and wrapped her arms around Jay. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Emma fell asleep. Jay laid her back down and stood up. He walked over to Sean, "This fucking sucks man."

Sean nodded, "I never thought I would see her like this."

Jay glanced over at Emma, "She needs to eat. I'm going to go get her some bread." Jay left the room and walked to the kitchen. Alex was sitting alone at the table.

"How is she?"

Jay walked to the counter and grabbed a few pieces of bread, "How couldn't you notice all the cuts? Why didn't you say anything when she stopped eating?"

Alex stood up, "It is not my fault, Jay!"

"I never said it was your fault! I want to know how you didn't notice!"

Alex started to cry, "I just figured it was her way of dealing. She would tell me she had no sense of control in her life anymore. I thought controlling what she ate made her feel better."

Jay sighed, "I need to bring this up to her. She needs to eat. Get some sleep."

Alex wiped her tears, "I'm sorry."

Jay nodded, "So am I."

XXXXX

13 hours later

Emma had finally stopped vomiting and was keeping down food. She was in her room for almost 55 hours. Over two days. Jay was sitting on the edge of the bed while she was sleeping. She was sleeping for about 5 hours. Sean was laying on the floor, sleeping. Jay sighed and stood up. He walked over to a pile of dirty towels and threw them in an empty bucket. He walked around the room looking for any other towels that may have been thrown. Once he found all of them, he sat back down. He touched his cheek and let out an ow. Emma had slapped him and when she did, all of her nails dragged across his skin. He had a bruise on his chest from where she kicked him after he tried to stop her from running out of the room. Sean looked worse. He had two black eyes from elbows. He also had a fat lip from Jay's head slamming into his mouth after Emma had kicked Jay in the chest.

Emma was paler than before. She had bags under eyes and chapped lips. Her hair was knotty and nails were chipped from her biting them. Her clothes were stained and she smelled like sweat. All of the scars and cuts she had on her body, now had a fresh coat of dry blood over them. She scratched at all them until reopened and bled. She did it unintentionally.

_Last call everybody step up for another  
The ring of the bell gives a yell  
To the crowd that's behind you  
Did she sweep you off your feet  
Are you deciding not to leave without her  
Without her tonight_

_Break down all the chairs on the tables  
And my minds on you  
Give up and Get into the van and go away again  
Because the things you leave in the last town  
Are getting out of hand  
Im sorry  
Im sorry about it_

_At least you lived to talk about it  
At least you got your health  
At least it made you feel alive  
Oh well, you wish you weren't right now_

_Tap out when the weight on you're shoulders comes down on youYou're gasping for air, and its just not fair  
He gets to be with her  
Here you sit trying hard,  
To forget something your thinking of_

_Im sorry about it  
Do you miss her so bad it hurts_

_At least you lived to talk about it  
At least you got your health  
At least it made you feel alive  
Oh well, you wish you weren't right now_

_You're all caught up  
After sleeping for days  
Makes up for nights you spent awake  
It will take awhile to see that smile  
That's laid dormant since she's gone  
You're all caught up  
After sleeping for days  
Makes up for nights you spent awake  
It will take awhile to see that smile  
That's laid dormant since she's gone_

_At least you lived to talk about it  
At least you got your health  
At least it made you feel alive  
Oh well, you wish you weren't right now_

**_Song: The Night Life_**

**_Artist: The Starting Line

* * *

_**

Next chapter will most likely be a few weeks after this. Hope you guys liked this chapter.


	26. This Time

**Alright readers, last chapter. I'm sorry. I just thing I covered everything I needed to cover. Eating disorders, pregnancy, drugs, drinking, rape, homosexuality, and whatever else. I'll try to post a new story soon. Maybe on a different character. I just love my Emma. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it. It's a boost to my writing ego to read all of the reviews and to know that some people like my stories. To find a song for this chapter, I just did random searches on a lyrics site and picked the best one that dealt with moving on with life.**

**Love Ridden**

_Chapter Twenty-six_

This Time

February 14, 2006

It has been a month since Jay and Sean dried Emma out. She was doing better. She ate more, stopped cutting, stopped drinking and she hadn't touched any drugs. Jay was staying with Manny and Emma, but in the basement. Alex decided that her and Emma should just be friends. Emma was ok with it, she wanted to be on her own anyways. Emma's parents never found out about her addictions.

After that whole fiasco Sean and Manny started seeing each other. They've only been together a few weeks, but they understand each other. Emma's happy for them. She tells them that they remind her of how Jay and her use to be, but in a good way.

Sitting on the side of the tub, Emma looks down at the test she holds in her right hand. She sighs and then glances to the box she holds in her left, "Two lines means positive." She throws the test across the bathroom and slides to the floor. She holds her head in her hands and cries. She doesn't know how it happened. She had only been with Alex. Then she remembers. She had been with Jay two times since he's been back. "Shit," she whispers to herself.

Emma stands up and picks up the test and drops it in the box. She walks out of the bathroom and right out of the house. She throws it away at the bottom of a half full garbage can. She takes her cigarettes out of her pockets and throws them in with it. She slams down the lid and slowly makes her way back in to her house. Instead of retreating back in to her room, she walks down the stairs to the basement. To Jay's room. She reaches the bottom and lets out a small cough to let Jay know she's there. He smiles and pats the couch cushion next to me. He's playing video games. Quietly she walked over and sits down next to him.

"What's going on, Em?"

"A lot. Look, I need to get out of Toronto. It's just too hard being here after all the bullshit. You know?"

Jay slowly nods, "Where are you going to go?"

"With my parents, I guess? I'm sure I can work out something with school."

"Well, there's only a few months left of school, why not finish?"

She snapped back, "I just can't handle it alright?"

"Sorry."

She rolled her eyes, "No. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped."

He put an arm around her, "Well, I hope you keep in touch and stay out of trouble."

She laughed lightly, "I will. Thanks to you and Sean my life is good. Well, as good as it'll get." She slowly stood up.

"When you going to go?"

"Tomorrow I think. Or tonight. I have to go call my parents."

He stood in front of her and pulled her in to a hug, "I love you, Em."

A tear slowly fell from her eye, "I know, Jay." She pulled away and walked to the stairs, "Thank you. For everything."

He smiled, "Not a problem. Just don't let make me do it again."

She laughed and walked back up the stairs.

A few hours later, Emma was packing. Her parents said that she could come stay with them, as long as Jay and Manny kept the house in good condition. She told them she would leave when she was finished getting all her stuff together. She just put her last belonging in to a box and brought the rest of her stuff downstairs. Only to be greeted by Sean, Manny and Alex.

She smiled lightly, "Don't cry, please."

Manny hugged her friend, "You so suck. I can't believe you're leaving. But, I get it."

Emma hugged Manny back, "You can visit, you know. And call. I won't be that far."

Manny nodded and let go, "I love you, Emma."

Manny stepped aside and Alex stood in front of Emma, "I'll miss you. You're a good friend, Em."

Emma smiled, "Oh, just give me a hug." Emma pulled Alex in to a hug.

Alex laughed, "Always so demanding."

Emma rolled her eyes and let go, "Call me."

Alex winked, "Oh, you know I will." Alex walked in to the kitchen.

Sean sighed, "I'm glad that you're back to being the old you. At least close to it." He wrapped his arms around her.

Emma held back her tears, "Thank you, Sean. For being there. You're amazing. And treat my best friend good, or I'll kick your ass."

He laughed and put an arm around Manny, "You probably could."

"Alright, I'm going. I love you guys."

Emma walked outside and saw Jay sitting on the steps. He heard her and got up. He walked down the stairs with her. He helped her get the rest of her stuff in to the car. When everything was in he reached for her hand. She looked at him sadly and held on to his hand. Silent tears filled both of their eyes. He pulled her in to a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck, not wanting to let ago. A few minutes later they both let go. Jay smiled lightly and opened the door for her. She slowly got in. He kissed her hand and closed the car door. He walked back up the steps and in to the house. Emma watched him disappear. She looked in to the rearview mirror and wiped away her tears. She put a hand on her stomach, "Just me and you now, baby." She sighed and drove away.

_Is our time gone forever?  
__Nothing else seems to matter  
__Sitting to watch the sun die  
__Goodbye  
__Feeling uninspired  
__Left alone and tired  
__Waking up to nothing  
__I need something _

_I can't say goodbye forever  
__But I'll say goodbye for now  
__This time, like last time __It's over  
__I'm leaving this behind _

_The walls are closing in now  
__I'm walking through it somehow  
__Waking up with nothing  
__Give me something  
__I've lost all sense of meaning  
__Staring at the ceiling  
__No longer believing everything _

_I can't say goodbye forever  
__But I'll say goodbye for now  
__This time, like last time  
__It's over  
__I'm leaving this behind _

_I can't stand another day without you  
__But I have to walk away  
__Infatuation's got me going crazy  
__Desperation makes me stay  
__I'm leaving this behind _

_This time, like last time  
__It's over  
__I'm leaving this behind _

_I've taken all that I can take  
__So I'm leaving this behind  
__I'm leaving this behind_

_**Song: This Time**_

_**Artist: Mest**_

* * *

**_Yeah, didn't expect it to end that way. Looks like there may be a part two._**


End file.
